Question:

Hi Jacob,

I came across your site a few days ago when I was researching paxil. As an anxious person starting the medication, it was HUGELY helpful to hear Sane Advice about it! I have now become “relaxed” (all things considered lol) about taking it.

I have been doing some reading on your blog and it’s been helpful, but I have a question about something that I haven’t seen addressed on the blog. What do you do about situations that you avoid because you’re afraid that something bad will happen? For instance, I’m 23 but I don’t drive or even have a license and I don’t have a job.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but I have avoided these things because I am afraid of what might happen. I see myself out on the road driving and panicking/freezing up and making a stupid mistake. I see myself at a job and having something happen like getting really bad menstrual cramps, getting sick, getting acid reflux (all things I deal with), and then me freaking out and something horrible happening.

I’ve told myself that i don’t actually know what will happen until I try and that I need to just get out and do it, push through my fears, that it probably won’t be as bad as I think it will be, etc. etc. But I’m still holding back, even though I’m getting really tired of not moving forward in my life.

It’s quite frustrating and I’m not sure what to do. Will being on paxil make it easier for me to do these things? Do I need a change in my thinking? Do I need to just get out there and try in spite of my fears? I would like to hear your thoughts on the subject if you get the chance. Thanks!

Answer:

Sorry it took so long to answer back. Very busy with everything these days.
 
It sounds like you are on you way to learning more about how to process thought, or more importantly, how to NOT TAKE YOUR THOUGHTS so seriously.
 
Paxil does work, and my advice is to let that give you some time learn how to change the way you look at things. If you change the way you look a things the things around you change.

I am creating a new section on Sane Advice that I will be taking in free audio so that you can listen any time you want when you are having an anxious day or moment. I have been listening to others for a long time and it helps to have that
voice as your friend. A friend that reminds you that you are going to be OK and that you are not alone.
 
Try not to worry about anything, and when you DO, try not to take your fearful thoughts all that seriously.

Jacob

Question;

Hi there Jacob,

Well I was on Paxil Cr years ago and weaned myself off and well now my panic attacks and anxiety have been coming back. So I went to the doctors and got another prescription for Paxil CR 25mg and will be starting them tomorrow. 

I have been reading your site and everything on it is me in a nutshell.  I am really worried about starting them again and the side effects and I did read what you said about them not killing me, but as I am sure your well aware the mind is a powerful thing. 

I will start taking them tomorrow morning because I want my life back! and am I ever scared! The doctor gave me the 25 mg because I was on it before and I suggested it but for 5 days I have been in worry about starting them again and what it will be like.  My mind is in a tailspin I keep thinking maybe I don’t need to do this, or maybe I should have asked for a lower dosage, and so and so on. Like I said Tailspin.

What I do want to know is since reading your site, I noticed that everyone is talking about taking Paxil and well Im taking Paxil Cr is it the same thing?

I have bookmarked your site and I will continue to go to it for advice and for calming.  I really appreciate it that you have this site and found relief while reading it as I knew I wasn’t alone in this that other suffer the same and have the same questions and fears.  Which I always deep down knew this but like I said before the mind is a powerful thing. 

If you have further advice I would love to hear it.

Thank you again

Betty

Answer;

Hello Betty, Continue Reading »

Today I want to talk a little bit about the relationship between the ego and anxiety in a personal way. Ironically, I have had allot of anxiety these past few days, and I’m now processing and using my anti-anxiety tool kit to put everything back in perspective. As I write this I am in the anxiety cloud stage which I have talked about before. So here we go.

Notice how your mind is being used to visualize these things I’m asking you to visualize. Notice how the mind is simply a tool that the ego will try to hijack, but yet it’s a tool your true self uses as well. The difference is that your true self uses the mind correctly, while the ego uses your mind incorrectly.

When you FEEL you true self using your mind correctly, you will feel a sensation of witnessing. Your goal is to let “the witness” have ownership of your mind. The witness is actually the universal mind speaking through you. You will be finally conscious to reality, and not the falsehoods your ego has been perpetuating.

If you are thinking any scary thoughts, or fears, don’t you worry! This is just the frightened ego panicking. The ego is not your enemy though, O.K. – look upon your ego as nothing more than a frightened child that needs some direction. It’s never about killing your ego – it’s all about accepting and witnessing your ego, and taking it by the hand with love and kindness.

What we’re doing here is taking your ego by the hand and going for a walk. Explain to your ego that everything is going to be fine. Tell your ego things like, “Don’t worry – we’ll have lots of fun in the future, and I have not forgotten you.”

Tell your ego that you love him or her. Tell your ego that you are going to look after everything, and that it will never be alone. Then tell your ego that you are going to take control the reins for awhile, because it has been worrying much too much about the future, and feeling much to much guilt about the past.

Explain to your ego that it’s NOT going crazy in any way. Explain to your ego that it’s just a normal human trait to feel these emotions from time to time. Remember that all of this fear will pass. Remember that any time you are feeling frightened, it’s the ego in you that is trying to take the wheel for total control.

Gently, with a loving touch, ease your ego’s fingers off the steering wheel. Put a hand on your ego’s head and turn to look him or her in the eye. At this point of the thought process, imagine seeing your ego face to face. You may see a child which is very common. (this is what some in the recovery movement do to identify their “inner child” and forgive it with love. When recovery movements, therapies, or self-help literature speak of the inner child, they are actually describing of the ego)

All you want to do is loosen the grip your worried ego has and allow the true presence of yourself take over. When you have worry free days, and you feel happy, content, and not afraid, you are feeling positive about the future and present moment. You are not moved by guilt of the past, or remorse of the past either. You are not moved by guilt just because you thought badly of other people. When you have these great days, it’s your ego feeling satisfied with everything going on in your life currently, and your true self rejoices in the bliss of the moment because it’s always been there waiting patiently for your ego to understand that “everything is alright”.

Unfortunately, when your life situation is not ideal, and there is external stress to deal with, your ego can begin to feel overwhelmed and afraid. It then tries paint everything black and tries to block out your eternal bliss.  This is when you are miserable and anxious. Some people spill all their anger, fear, rage, and misery outwards, causing suffering and pain for all others around them. They feel some relief for a brief instance, and then their ego manages to quickly start “beating themselves up”, causing even more anxiety for themselves. Often when this kind of ego enslavement is in action the human will then resort to some sort of drug or alcohol “solution”, which is also brief, and followed by more guilt, physical discomfort, and more external drama perpetrated on other human beings. This is what the Bible and other faith-based teachings define as hell – and all along it never HAS to be this way.

Now for those who suffer from anxiety, we usually internalize our ego-based anger, sadness, fear, and loathing. This causes our anxiety disorders. Remember the old bumper sticker and poster of the 1970′s that had this saying?,

“Stress: The confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it”

This is an ego-based statement. It’s surely funny, but why is it so funny? Because it’s makes us laugh at our silly human egos. We all have moments in our lives when we are really angry (disconnected from reality) and we think to ourselves something like, “I’d like to punch that person out”.

Of course, the vast majority of people on earth don’t act on a thought like that, because deep inside we know it’s a ridiculous and hateful thing to do, and we’re afraid of what will happen as well. So when we have a chance to laugh at our own angry moments and negative emotions, it’s a great relief. I think I’ve mentioned before that laughing at yourself (or your ego actually) is great therapy when you are stressed out.

This funny saying is true in some ways for people who suffer from anxiety sometimes. We don’t spill outward our fear and anger because we don’t want to hurt or upset others. We take it inward and not outward. On a purely temporary point of view, it would seem that the person who spills out their grief and pain on others is better off – but not in the long run. In the long run these people suffer much more, and are usually left without any kind of human support later in life.

The trick to relieving anxiety for most people is to accept it for it’s temporary existance, literally laugh at your fear, ease off the self absorbtion with activity and movement, and stop taking ourselves so seriously. In other words, stop taking ego-based and false selves so seriously.

Have you ever seen some of the pictures of Buddha laughing. This is what the truth is. The truth is fearless and alive. We can laugh at ourselves as a way to disspate the ego which controls our mind processes during stress bouts.

Try chuckling and laughing at all things you’ve been worried about or sad about. I know how hard it is to that when you are in the middle of a stressful time, but it can help a little – if not briefly.

Rest assured that your anxiety will be gone soon, and always has in the past. It is NOT a permanent thing. With or without medication, you will get through the stressful times, and realize how silly your little ego is to so afraid.

So to update my current situation as I write this post. I still feel like I’m in the anxiety cloud and writing about anxiety is probably not the best thing to do at the moment, but honestly, and look at all times of anxiety as a chance to learn. Even as I have been in the full anxiety mode today, I deep down inside feel like there is hope, bright blue sky days, happy happy times, beautiful sunsets and sunrises, smiling faces, and stress free days, weeks, months, and years ahead of me.

This is the true mystery of the human mind – even when our egos are taking everything so seriously, and is making our days miserable, we can still feel that somewhat distant voice of reality that is never gone. It’s quietly speaking the truth about the beauty of life, and when the clouds of anxiety pass by, the blue sky of peace and tranquility will be waiting for us. Just writing this makes me feel better.

This is the first time that I’ve ever written a post while under extreme stress so it’s interesting. I’m not sure how long I will continue writing, but the words seem to keep coming out.

My wife is almost ready now to go out, and we putting our dogs (two Golden Retrievers) in our little GMC truck, and going to the dump (landfill) to get rid of some dirt and branches we cleared away a couple of weeks ago. It’s a perfectly blue sky day today, and you would have to wonder why I would feel anxious at all. I have a big house in an upscale neighborhood, a perfect job for me (which is blogging from home) and pays very well, our kids are both out of the house and doing very well. It’s late August and it’s warm and perfect. Our financial house is in order and we are in good health. We travel all the time because our job’s allow for this kind of freedom. We do that in a brand new motor home we bought last year. So how could I possibly feel anxiety? Good question. I don’t quite know either, but I have a guess.

It means so much to me that other people are doing OK in the world, and I can easily get very wrapped up in the “state of the world”. I also get very wrapped in United States politics, and the last 9 years has been difficult to watch. Seeing all of the problems Americans are going through has caused me alot of stress – basically I have caused myself allot of stress because I have chosen to let me ego take control and lament about the plight of others. It’s hard for me to see the suffering of others and write if off as part of the divine order of life on earth.

I know that there are other countries and other peoples who are suffering much more than Americans, but I have always felt that if American can get it’s act together, there is a chance for the rest of world. It’s like the flight attendant that tells parents to make sure they have their oxygen mask on first before helping their children. I use this as a metaphor for the United States and the world. If the U.S.A can get it together, they can help with influence in the rest of the world. Not with leathal weapons, but with compassion, leadership, and diplomacy. It’s a dream – a good dream, but for my own stress levels I have to accept that there is tragedy in the world, and that I will not see what I perceive to be a perfect world. This is the naive state that my adult mind still plays with sometimes.

This is how over-sized my own ego is. It will actually try and convince me that I should feel guilt for the suffering of others, because I have been so lucky. This is why I started Saneadvice.com, and why I don’t use my real name, and why there is no advertising on this site. I needed to create a web site that helps people through their anxiety issues, without me gaining from it, and without me taking credit for it.

(I have other web sites that are not about self-help and anxiety, and they are purely for making money. This is why my wife and I free and make a good living)

I think the reason I am so anxious today is because it is tax time, it’s the month end, and I’v been feeling tired and a little ill. I have been watching too much news as the United States Congress, Senate, and Whitehouse grapple with trying to fix their nation’s healthcare problem. I see some extreme so-called right-wing people trying to scare people for the sake of large profit hungry insurance companies, and medical services related companies. I see the elected politicians in the U.S. government taking contributions from these same private companies which is the ultimate in conflict of interest. Meanwhile I see over 35 million people in the United States who don’t have health care at all, and hundreds of thousand of others losing the health care they have. I see the great injustice of all this, and I get very angry. This is pure ego, and I’ll feel better when I just let it go. I can pray for these people. I can pray for the United States and World, and really that is the best I can do.

So this too maybe what has brought on this anxiety. Like I have said before, it’s usually a combination of things adding up over time which bring on anxiety problems, and it alway means I have been processing what I see the wrong way. In order to see the reality of life I can’t be constantly telling myself how messed up the world is, or people are. I have to stop judging so many things as bad, or “not right”, and I have to give up control all together. Just let things be as they are and accept it. Then I have to learn once again what is the truth.

The truth is that I don’t have to take myself so seriously, and I’m NOT going to “save the world”, and I’m not heading for a personal disaster. As all people who have experienced extreme anxiety know – our common sense feels like it’s impossible to grasp when we are “out there” consumed with fear.

I must say that now I feel much better because of what just happened in our living room. My wife’s computer was not working for her, and it was something very simple and I knew it. I got frustrated, and as I was trying to help her (as quickly as possible) I acted angry in my face expressions, and tone of voice. I fixed her monitor problem, and then I apologized for seeming angry, and explained that I was feeling stress.

She responded by saying, “Oh, I thought you were just being an insensitive prick.” I began to laugh out loud and so did she. There is an inside joke here and it goes like this.

I told my wife once that when I’m deeply anxious I get quieter, I eat less, I move by body (more exercise), I stop smoking, and I become more aware of how I am treating others. I told her that when I’m feeling better, I’m less sensitive to others, I over eat, I don’t exercise, I smoke, I don’t worry. She said jokingly,

“So let me get this right – when you are feeling good, you are a fat and lazy insensitive prick” We both started to laugh loudly. This is good comfort to laugh at yourself.

Well we must go to the dump now. This post has helped move things along in my discission on the ego and how serious we can get. We must learn to float and not get “bent out of shape” when things we see and witness don’t go according to our egos.

The answer to my stress today is very simple friends – my little ego is upset because it is not seeing exactly what it wants. When I give up this ego and learn to laugh at my ego, I will start to feel like “myself again”.

Sorry if anyone reading Saneadvice.com ever thought that I had “my shit together” completely, and that I never have extreme anxiety on some days. The reality is that no human ever totally conquers their ego. We can learn to live with our ego though, and we can spend most all our time relaxing in the moment.

Sometimes anxiety just means you need to reset your thinking because you have been thinking wrongly for awhile. Hitting reset button now!

Lucinda Bassett’s anxiety and depression program from the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety has ironically used the word “attacking” in describing the quest to beat your anxiety problems. I say ironically because that is the last thing you want to do. In fact, the Midwest Center program does not suggest you attack your anxiety. It’s actually the opposite – you let it come and let it go. (not a very good catch phrase)

The real trick to beating your anxiety is to reduce it’s threat in your mind. In other words, don’t think of an anxiety cloud or a panic attack as a big deal. Looking at an anxiety cloud or a panic attack as a big bad enemy that needs to be attacked is a sure fire way of talking yourself into another anxiety attack.

Don’t get me wrong – Lucinda Bassett from the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety has a great program, and it’s actually the first stress reduction program I ever tried. Back then the program was on cassette tapes and included some basic literature on how to calm yourself down and change your life drug free. The program taught me allot, but if it wasn’t for the medication I started taking, I never would have got my stress under control.

Whenever I have been without medication, and extreme anxiety has come over me (leading to panic attacks), I remember trying to “attack” the anxiety cloud that was building. I attacked it with everything I had and it never worked.

The truth is that you can’t hide from an anxiety cloud that is building. You can’t run, hide, or attack it. You need to take action to overcome an ongoing anxiety disorder or multiple panic attacks a day, but if you don’t have any medication, you’ll have to ride out the panic attack. Riding it out sounds like it’s easy. Like a ride in the country. But as all anxiety sufferers know, it can be pure hell.

There are several things you can do to deal with a full blown anxiety attack, and none of them may give you an instant relief. Medication might, and depending on what kind of medication it is, it might give you some instant temporary relief. When the panic attack is over then the sufferer can be left with a crippling fear of the next attack. This is where I think the opportunity lies if you want to stop your panic attacks without the use of medication.

I believe that the point of exit from a panic attack is where the secret to beating anxiety and panic attacks once and for all. It’s at this time you need to practice what I call the point of exit methodology (or POEM system).

I’ve had hundreds of panic attacks in my adult life. At first it was horrific because I didn’t know what was happening. Back then most doctors didn’t have any solutions. I was very young so the doctors didn’t consider stress and anxiety, or panic attacks for my diagnosis. Since those days I’ve learned a vast amount regarding anxiety and panic attacks. In this post I want to give you just a few tidbits on how to cope with your panic attacks.

Panic Attack Checklist

1. Tell yourself the truth – don’t think thoughts that support your feelings of fear. Don’t exaggerate the reality of your situation. Underneath your panic attack and extreme anxiety is a REAL concern that is causing you to overload. That REAL concern is always nothing to be terrified of, and you must identify what your very REAL fear is. Once you realize what your real fear is, you can begin telling yourself the truth about your situation. Below is an example of the process.

If a panic attack is on the verge or underway ask yourself what your REAL fear is – if you are in a panic attack your answer will likely be the fear of dying, the fear of your spouse leaving you, the fear of losing your income and being poor, the fear of your relatives or loved ones dying, the fear of hurting someone or yourself. ALL OF THESE VERY LIKELY NOT REAL. Disregard them. Stick to the true fear that set you on this road towards fear and panic. It’s almost always a smaller issue then what you are imagining. But for the sake of argument with your negative thoughts, lets go ahead and examine your fear.

I’ll choose a few fearful examples that sufferers of anxiety often have:

Fear of Dying: Having a panic attack can’t kill you. I’ve been under a full hospital monitoring system including heart rate, blood pressure, etc., while having a massive panic attack. I asked the nurse to monitor me while I was in a full blown big time panic attack. I had the cold sweats, shivering flesh, tingling arms and legs, cramped stomach, quick breathing, and the usual horrific feeling of dying. The nurse told me there was a slight increase in heart rate, and a slight increase of blood pressure, but not much. It felt like I was coming apart physically and mentally, but the reality was nothing much at all. So don’t worry about having a panic attack. If a panic attack comes – let it come – let it go – don’t fight it. It won’t hurt you and you need to remember this. You won’t die.

Fear of Losing Your Mind and Being Institutionalized: Millions of people suffer from anxiety and/or depression and don’t become institutionalized. This is just your negative imagination at work. You must remember that you are not alone, and what you are going through is very common in today’s world. There are people amongst you in the neighborhood, perhaps at work or school, who are experiencing very similar struggles. You will overcome it soon, and you feel better soon. This is the real truth. Your panic attack, foggy anxiety, and fear will pass on like the wind through a tree. Have faith in knowing this. You WILL NOT go crazy. You are not going crazy. You are not crazy. You are suffering from extreme anxiety that will pass. It always does.

Fear that your body can’t survive your physical anxiety symptoms: Your body is MUCH tougher than you give it credit for. Your body and mind are miracles at work, and it’s more than capable of dealing with your physical symptoms due to your severe anxiety. Below are some typical symptoms and we’ll go into more detail regarding the real dangers (or lack thereof) of these physical symptoms.

• IBS (irritable bowl syndrome) constant diarrhea
• loss of weight because you don’t have any appetite
• extreme headaches
• very little sleep

Your bowels can handle this discomfort a very very long time. Some people have IBS their whole life and they don’t die from IBS. Your appetite will return and your extreme anxiety will pass with a couple of days, weeks, or months depending on how quickly you take action towards seeking help. Your loss of appetite will be temporary and your body will actually enjoy the break from all of the food it has to deal with. The human body is capable of having very little food for a long period of time. You will survive the lack of food. Don’t worry. You can have as many headaches as you choose. I say this because your negative thoughts are the cause of your stress and headaches. Your headaches will not kill you either. Your sleep patterns may be completely ruined right now, but this is temporary as well. When your body is ready it will shut down even your most anxious filled mind. You will sleep even if it’s for only a few minutes here and there.

IMPORTANT: during these days of extreme stress and the above symptoms, you will likely look rough. When you look in the mirror you probably think you are a mess. The truth is you don’t look nearly as bad as you think you do, but you should have a bath every day or every second day. Shave yourself (legs or face). Put on some clean clothes. Don’t give up on yourself during these heavy bouts of anxiety and depression. Look after yourself. Love yourself. You are a beautiful and wonderful person. You are not perfect and you’re not expected to. You are a perfectly imperfect person like all humans. You are worthy of your own love, and the love of others.

2. Process your real fear(s) properly – Identify what concern(s) you were having before you began having some of your early symptoms of high stress like numbness and tingling in the head, feet, legs, hands, and arms. Like a feeling of fear and sorrow coming out of nowhere. The slow staging of insomnia, and on and on it goes.

Even under extreme stress and anxiety you will be able to identify what triggered your downward spiral into anxiety and/or depression. It could be something like a basic feeling of uncertainty or insecurity brought on by a death or illness in the family. A possible loss of money ore income due to a job loss or soon to be job loss. When you have identified your TRUE trigger of your stress you can then play a little game I call – SO WHAT. Here is how it goes. Don’t imagine the worst happening…..simply state out loud what will happen if the worst were to happen. For this example of my game called SO WHAT, I’ll use the example of losing a job and possibly becoming poor. Here is the flow chart.

√ I might lose my job and have no way to make money! : “So what. It’s just a job and you didn’t have a job before you got that one and you somehow managed to find the job you have now. You can do it again. Just go out and hunt down another job. Big deal.”

√ What if I can’t find a job! My family will be poor and my spouse might leave me! : “So what. You always found a job thus far in your life and what makes you think that you will all of a sudden fail. Your family may have less, and you all might have to move into a smaller house, apartment, trailer, or whatever – but this is all temporary as I will eventually find a job and it will be fine. I’ve always found work and supported my family so why would I fail now? If your spouse is so shallow as to up and leave you because you can’t earn money at this brief moment in time, then she or he is not a very good spouse anyways and you will be fine without them. You were alone once before you met your spouse and you found them didn’t you. What makes you think you will not find a friend and lover again? Your children will be fine no matter what happens because children are VERY resilient. You can look after them better if you stop worrying about possibilities that are not the end of the world. Just be grateful you live in a place where 2nd starts are allowed, and happen everyday to millions.

You are not your job. Repeat: YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB. You are simply you and the job was just a place you went and thing you did to make money. You can find another job just like it, or find a job that is completely different. Just think how much fun it would be to try something completely different!

√ I don’t think I can be happy without all my stuff! : “So what. Being happy all the time is completely unrealistic. All your stuff will never make you happy. Maybe more comfortable, but you can those things back in time. If you really think HAVE to have those things and comforts, then how on earth did you survive before you had those things? You were likely just as happy before you had those things, perhaps even happier! Don’t forget your true essence here. You are not your things, your house(s), car(s), toy(s), status, etc. You are just you are – perfectly imperfect in every way.

When you are suffering from anxiety then you are entertaining unreasonable fear and you need to “call yourself on it”. Ask yourself if your fears are reasonable. When you answer that question it will be yes. Then you can begin looking at what is really concerning you and using the above methods you can say this to yourself, “SO WHAT”. You’ve been on mother earth this long and have done OK. You will continue to move on OK regardless of the changes you will most certainly experience.

Embrace the changes in your life. Learn to love the uncertainty. It’s not a “crazy” way to live. It’s the sanest way to live. Embrace the uncertainty of your life and all the lives around you. Go with the flow and stop trying to control your surrounding all the time. Let yourself float with the river running down the mountain. You are a perfect act of nature just like the flowing streams, rivers and oceans. Have faith in your physical and mental strength – you have a miraculous mind and body that won’t let you down.

Try and relax and have faith in your imperfect perfection. Everything will turn out alright.

Your Anxiety Will Pass

It’s very important that when you are suffering deeply from anxiety or depression that you remember that it’s temporary. I know from allot of personal experience that it’s very hard to believe that your depression and anxiety will pass. That is what is so crippling about it. You must learn to remember that it WILL pass.

Five Magic Words

When you find yourself in that frightening hole, just remember that it’s treatable, there is help, and it will pass. The important thing is that you say these words to yourself,

“I WANT TO FEEL GOOD”

Repeat these word to yourself as often as you can during the day. I WANT TO FEEL GOOD. Just keep on saying these words to yourself over and over again until it’s like a mantra. What happens is you wash your brain of your negative and self-defeating inner dialogue.

These five magic words will slowly give you the strength to take the action required to overcome your fear, anxiety, and depression. You may be suffering from depression and anxiety as you read this. Start now. Say these five magic words to yourself right now. “I WANT TO FEEL GOOD”

Take Action Immediately

Don’t wait in fear and suffer from high anxiety, loss of sleep, and day to day depression. Take action today and find a clinic near you. If you live in a country that does not provide national health care, use the Internet to find information like you are reading right now.

If there is any way you can get in to see a doctor, do it. Don’t wait. As soon as you get in for help you will begin to feel a little bit better. You may still be in a fog of fatigue, fear, depression and anxiety, and you may feel afraid to even go outdoors, but make sure you slowly pull yourself together and DO IT.

By taking action you will be carrying out what you have been saying to yourself in those five magic words. I WANT TO FEEL GOOD. Your action is the way out of your anxiety, fear and depression.

You Are Not Alone

You’re going to be OK. All of this will pass. You are going to be fine, and NEVER forget that you are not alone. You are a perfect beautiful person created by love and universal energy. You are never alone. Millions and millions of people suffer from anxiety and depression in our world here on earth. You will make it through this. Just take it slow, and start making changes in the way you have been thinking – begin finding help because there are many, many people that want to help you.

During my struggles when dealing with my anxiety disorder, I found that when my sleep patterns are solid my anxiety soon goes away. When you’re suffering from basic everyday anxiety or from extreme anxiety, you need to focus on getting your sleep. That’s really easy to say and really hard to do when you are stressed out and anxious.

You can use medications to help you get to sleep, but then your sleep is not as good. If you just can’t get to sleep naturally, then medication may be the only way to get some sleep. Some sleep is always better than no sleep however.

I’ve gone from stages of crippling anxiety to a perfectly normal stage of anxiety after one night of sleep. This is how important your sleep is.

Tips for Getting Some Good Sleep

1. If you can’t sleep, try not to worry about and make things worse. Your body will only go so far before it you will doze off at some point. Don’t worry that you only sleep for 5-10 minutes and wake up with a flood of anxiety. This is normal if you have extreme anxiety. If you are in that state you must not be afraid to go the doctor and get some help in the way of medication. Usually one Ativan will put you to sleep if you take it before you go to bed.

2. Don’t fight it. If you can’t sleep don’t worry about it and whatever you do don’t go to bed and lay there awake stressing about it. Go to another room and watch some bland television, or read a good book. If you are suffering from extreme anxiety then you will have trouble concentrating on the television program or the the book but that’s ok. Just keep watching or reading and eventually you will doze off to sleep – even if it’s just a few minutes, like I said above. It’s all good when you doze off. Just remember that you body will always bring to the point of getting at least a little sleep.

3. What to do when you try to sleep and your mind just won’t let you. If you are suffering from extreme anxiety you will notice the following symptoms. You will try to sleep, and you will move really slow from lack of sleep, but you won’t be able to sleep. You lay down on a bed in a quiet room, and every time you feel like you are about to fall asleep, you’ll get another rush of anxiety, and wake up in a panic. Don’t let this freak you out and cause you more anxiety. This is normal from extreme anxiety sufferers.

If you are having this symptom of extreme anxiety then it’s important to get yourself to the doctor and get some professional help. Your doctor will very likely prescribe some medication to put you to sleep. You may sleep for a very long time and that’s great!!!

Once you have had a couple days of sleep you have a great window of opportunity. You may have some of the extreme symptoms of anxiety, but you will feel better, and this is your chance to get everything back on track.

Now – when you have had some sleep, wake up and IGNORE any scary thoughts or anxious feelings. Let the anxious thoughts and feelings come. Don’t fight them. Just except them and let it go. Remember, this  to shall pass. Just get up from bed and find some healthy food that sticks to your ribs (such as oatmeal) and get that done. If you are suffering from extreme anxiety then eating may be a problem as well, so get some long lasting food inside you and focus the next few hours on doing something. Find a job or mundane household duty that take very little concentration and do it. Getting on your hands and knees and scrubbing the floor or baseboards is a good example. Why? Because as you are busy cleaning you will feel the sense of accomplishment, you will be making your body tired which helps your next slumber, you are getting some exercise which is great for you and your heart is gently picking up pace, and you will likely sweat from the mild exertion. All this will help you when it’s time for your next bit of sleep.

4. Once you begin to sleep, don’t worry about it if you are sleeping allot. Your body has been going will very little sleep during your high anxiety and depression during the last days or weeks. Your body is just catching up. Let your body catch up. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Just remember to keep yourself busy when you wake up, and don’t just sit around stewing over your condition. You are on your way back to your healthy normal pattern.

5. If it’s possible, try and go to work no matter how hard that may seem. If you have a job where you have to focus and concentrate, then you might not be able to, but if you can find jobs at work that are manually laborous then take those jobs. The interaction with other people will help you deal with your anxiety. If your employer is completley insensitive to your condition, you MUST inform them of what you are going through and explain that you want to work, but you need jobs are in the “grunt work” category. If you manage to go to work, then great. This will help you sleep the next time you get ready to slumber. If your boss or your employer does not have these kinds of jobs and is possible unsympathetic to your situation, then you need to get away from that job and take a stress leave. Use every possible avenue to get away from work and still maintain your monthly paycheck. Give yourself time to recover from your episode of anxiety and/or depression. Give yourself to time to slowly get back on track.