Anxiety Question:
Hi Guys,
I came across your site last night at 4 am while suffering from a giant panic attack. I wanted to tell you how great I think your site is and to thank you for hosting a site like this one. We (people in the Paxil community) so desperately needed it.
My story is interesting in that I went on Paxil 15 or so years ago. Right when it first came out. I’m one of the front-line users. You could still go on Google then and do a search of side effects and come up with nothing -lol. Can you believe it? Now all you hear is how it ruined everyones life all day every day.
I had always suffered from anxiety and low level panic attacks and then, suddenly, in my late 30′s I was getting the full blown attacks – I’m sure hormones had a lot to do with it. Also, my mother suffered from Panic disorder, too and that’s when hers really got going strong. Back when she was suffering, there was nothing anyone could really do. All they had at the time was Valium and it only worked for a few hours and was highly addictive. She tried cognitive therapy too, but her anxiety was too high for that to work.
We have to all remember when we are having problems with anxiety and panic how great we have it now. There are so many good drugs out there in this market, no one needs to suffer. That’s a positive thing to know.
Paxil always worked for me right from the start. I quickly went up to a 15 mil dosage and stayed on that for all 15 years. I did great on it. Recently a friend of mine, who quit his meds, talked me into going off it. After-all, I had been on it for 15 years without a break, why not see if I was “cured.” I tapered off 1 mil at a time till I got to 7mils and then I started getting hyper so stopped and figured I’d just stay with the 7 mils from now on. I had all the brain zaps and dizziness, but honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I had read on the “fright” sites. Well, this new regiment worked great for 3 months then suddenly, just like they appeared in my late 30′s, the panic attacks returned full force.
Here’s my question to you all. I ramped back up to the 15 mils 2 nights ago and it has not stopped the panic attacks. I have the waves of panic all night long. I always took my meds at night because they made me sleepy. I’m now wondering if Paxil is going to work for me again or something has changed and they are now not working. Have you ever heard of this happening? I am going to keep on them for at least 2 more weeks to see if I start feeling better, I’m sure my body is depleted and it will take time to get back in my system. However, I keep “fearing” they will now not work because I read on so many “fright” sites that this will happen. I will be devastated if that is the case as I don’t want to have to switch meds. It’s very hard finding the right med & dosage for each individual and I just cannot believe I screwed around with my delicate balance of brain chemicals by going off my meds.
A psych once told me that Panic Disorder runs in families, true in my case, and is chronic. There is no cure, but there is management. I should have listened and I hope my story will let others out there know that when you get a good thing, don’t mess with it. Even if you are on a drug for 15year or more so what if you feel good on it with no side effects.
Now, I’m back at square one, but really freaked out the pills won’t work for me. After I take my pill at night I can get to sleep, but I wake up with waves of adrenaline all night long. Again, it’s only been 2 nights so I’m hoping for the best.
I know you deal with people from all over all hear many stories.. Please be honest and let me know if you have heard stories of Paxil no longer working for people after they stop.
I will wait to hear back from you. Thanks for your great site and time.
Daniel
Answer:
Hi Daniel,
Thanks for visiting Sane Advice.
Just finished reading your email, and I can tell that you are going to be OK.
Don’t worry about Paxil not working, because it can be a part of your overall process in LEARNING to live differently, and when I say differently, I mean learning to not take our fearful thoughts so seriously.
I too get anxiety still from time to time, and I don’t even know where it comes from at first. BUT, I always know it is caused because I am afraid of something or other going “wrong” in my life. When that happens I always take a mental step back and remember that whatever is bothering me is “IN MY MIND”, and not based on fact. But learning to change the way we judge our thoughts and thinking is only part of it. Using medication properly is important too.
I was always told by my doctor(s) that using Paxil is a morning event, and I believe that to be true, and it’s important to take your dosage the same time every day – say between 8AM adn 10AM.
Now. Regarding your dosages.
You went back up to 15 mils for just a few days right. It will take a week to two weeks before you get back on track again. Try to get lots of fresh air, talk to a willing friend, hold hands….whatever you need to do to let your mind have a break from it’s self. Try taking Paxil in the morning and if you have to use Ativan or something like it for a couple of weeks, talk to your doctor about that.
Don’t think that you can never live without Paxil all together either. Perhaps it just wasn’t time to stop yet. Tapering down is the right way to go when you ween off, but like my doctor(s) have always told me……”don’t taper down until the big stressors in your life are gone”. I also add that we shouldn’t taper down until we have LEARNED to look at life on this earth differently.
You are right, and your doctor(s) are right. Some of us have learned to fear from the people that raised us, and the enviroment we were raised in. SO – we need to lovingly forgive those who influenced us with fear, and learn to break away from the belief that “something bad is about to happen”.
The TRUTH is that if we take our worried minds out of play, there is no problems – only life situations. To relearn out thinking we need to consume material that helps us understand the truth of our time here on the planet, and learn to see life through a REAL lense, and not our fearful lense.
Unless we learn to see the world through a different lense, we are likely to fall back to our old ways of processing our thoughts when we taper off of anti-anxiety medication.
My advice is to stay on your 15 mils and let things calm down (AND THEY WILL). THEN start reading and listening to people who have made it their life long journey to help humans free themselves of their constant negative mind activity. I have read and listened to many different people like this, and the one person that really helps me understand how my mind (and the human mind) works, is Eckhart Tolle. Don’t worry….he is not some freaky religious person who runs some sort of wierd cult or anything like that. Ignore all of the fanatically inclined religious zealots on the web – Eckhart is not a religious leader that is trying to get between people and their religions – he only helps people understand how our minds are trying to “run the show”, and how change our lives dramatically.
I highly recommend getting these two cd sets. The reason I suggest getting the CD sets is because his voice is SO CALMING, and the what he says quiets the mind dramatically. Like I said, I’ve listened to all the so-called “greats”, but no-one relaxes me and gives me a sense of peace like him. Also, if I’m ever really “messed up” with fear and anxiety, I can’t focus on reading a book – when I can just listen it’s much better and the truth of his words and that sound of his voice begin to take hold.
You can get these for cheap, and when you can afford to spend a few bucks on these PLEASE do it. It changed my life so much so that I just can’t relay how much in words. Watch this video of Eckhart here.
The FindHorn Retreat – You’ll Laugh, Snicker, and FEEL Really Good
The Power of Now – Really helps calm our minds down and learn the art of living without stress.
You will get through this, and please try to avoid these blogs and forums that are filled with people who are letting their worried minds dicate their day. Worried minds want to worry other minds. People slowly ween themselves off Paxil all over the world, and they do that when they are ready.
The trick to life is not sorting out our ”problems”. It’s understanding that there are no “problems”.
Love to you from me (Jacob) and Emma
Response:
Dear Jacob,
Thank you so much for your compassionate email. Some good news, the Paxil has started to kick in and I had a much better night last night. It DOES still work and I didn’t have suffer with panic for 4 to 6 weeks before I saw any light. I also saw a Dr and he told me that the blogs are WRONG. A medication does not just stop working for someone who has taken it successfully as long as I have. Why do people write this stuff?
You are so right about letting the dark thoughts overtake us. I’ve been on a personal journey for several years now to try to stay positive, surrounding myself with only positive people and things, eating right, exercise, meditation – in a few words, keeping balanced and always going toward the truth and light.
I had read a book by Eckhart Tolle a long time ago. I had forgotten about him. I will get the books/CD’s you recommended and can’t wait to read them. In the world today, with so many toxic messages being thrown at us from every direction, we need these voices of calm and reason. Spirituality and staying on the right path really helps us at whatever stage of development we are at.
Having Panic Disorder, not just anxiety, I try to look at it like a challenge that I must fight to stay ahead of. I believe that with Panic Disorder there are brain chemicals that just fire off at the wrong time. It used to happen to me (pre Paxil) at times when I was so calm. Nothing apparently caused it. Scientists can now watch this happen on a MRI in Panic Attack sufferers and they know what part of the brain is responsible. That was a HUGE help in developing the newer meds because, before that…..there wasn’t much that worked. For me, I think meds will probably be a part of my life forever. It’s not like you can meditate a malfunction in your brain away, but staying calm and true to one’s life journey just helps get me back on track sooner rather than later. Also, I can meditate and deep breath a low level attack away – it’s just the full blown attacks – I shake like convulsions, can’t hear, my arms go numb, become freezing cold, etc. – that I need the meds for.
Again, thank you for your time & compassion & positive words – and great web-site.