So I will be starting A2X today, and then I will report on progress as we go from day to day, week to week, and month to month. I chose A2X for various reasons but mostly because of the positive reviews online. We’ll see for myself now.

The cost of A2X is close to $40 a month, and my Paxil is even more, so this would also be a saving for me. The other main reason is that I want to be done with SSRI anti-anxiety medication. The herbal alternative would be great.

I will still continue to take Paxil as I’m taking the AZX herbal pills for two weeks. After two weeks of takings A2X I will start tapering down the Paxil, eventually I will not have any Paxil in my system and then we’ll see the effects. I’m sure I will still get the brain swooshes that come when the Paxil starts to stop taking it’s effect – can’t get around that when your serotonin levels are adjusting.

USE THE COMMENT BOX BELOW PLEASE

Disregard the gray text below, because you are HERE in the advice column now.

Love Jacob and Emma.

Jacob, I’m about to go on some anti depressants. I’ve been experiencing crippling anxiety and it’s so severe that it’s causing depression. Just recently (about a week ago) I had a bad panic attack upon waking, and since then, the anxiety has got increasingly worse to the point of losing sleep, sleeping three hours a night, waking to extreme anxiety.

The only thing that would make me feel normal and sleep was Ativan. I started working nights a couple months ago, and that triggered my first panic attack. I don’t want to become reliant on Ativan, and when it wears off, I get intense anxiety once again. Any suggestion on what I can do? It’s early, Been only a week, but I’m experiencing stage 2 and some stage 3 symptoms listed on your post.

Answer:

Hi there,

This is so classic and being a guy as well, your situation is EXACTLY what mine was like – no Ativan and I would go back to freak out mode.

I had to start long term meds (Paxil) and take the Ativan for two weeks until the Paxil was in my system.

If you can somehow get yourself to just say STOP, in an effort to stop your mind activity which terrified of the panic attack, that may help.

What people who have never had panic attacks don’t understand is that we REALLY fear is another panic attack and not much else. Sure, it was a combination of life situations that led to the first panic attack, but after that it’s basically the fear of another one that keeps the cycle going.

Once we break that cycle we can start to recover. In my case I had to start Paxil to control it.

From the blog I am realizing that most of us who have dealt with panic, started having episodes in our early 20s. Then maybe nothing for years, and in our 40s they come back. Something like that anyway.

Jacob

Hi Jacob,

I came across your site a few days ago when I was researching paxil. As an anxious person starting the medication, it was HUGELY helpful to hear Sane Advice about it! I have now become “relaxed” (all things considered lol) about taking it.

I have been doing some reading on your blog and it’s been helpful, but I have a question about something that I haven’t seen addressed on the blog. What do you do about situations that you avoid because you’re afraid that something bad will happen? For instance, I’m 23 but I don’t drive or even have a license and I don’t have a job.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but I have avoided these things because I am afraid of what might happen. I see myself out on the road driving and panicking/freezing up and making a stupid mistake. I see myself at a job and having something happen like getting really bad menstrual cramps, getting sick, getting acid reflux (all things I deal with), and then me freaking out and something horrible happening.

I’ve told myself that i don’t actually know what will happen until I try and that I need to just get out and do it, push through my fears, that it probably won’t be as bad as I think it will be, etc. etc. But I’m still holding back, even though I’m getting really tired of not moving forward in my life.

It’s quite frustrating and I’m not sure what to do. Will being on paxil make it easier for me to do these things? Do I need a change in my thinking? Do I need to just get out there and try in spite of my fears? I would like to hear your thoughts on the subject if you get the chance. Thanks!

Answer:

Sorry it took so long to answer back. Very busy with everything these days.
 
It sounds like you are on you way to learning more about how to process thought, or more importantly, how to NOT TAKE YOUR THOUGHTS so seriously.
 
Paxil does work, and my advice is to let that give you some time learn how to change the way you look at things. If you change the way you look a things the things around you change.

I am creating a new section on Sane Advice that I will be taking in free audio so that you can listen any time you want when you are having an anxious day or moment. I have been listening to others for a long time and it helps to have that
voice as your friend. A friend that reminds you that you are going to be OK and that you are not alone.
 
Try not to worry about anything, and when you DO, try not to take your fearful thoughts all that seriously.

Jacob

Hi there Jacob,

Well I was on Paxil Cr years ago and weaned myself off and well now my panic attacks and anxiety have been coming back. So I went to the doctors and got another prescription for Paxil CR 25mg and will be starting them tomorrow. 

I have been reading your site and everything on it is me in a nutshell.  I am really worried about starting them again and the side effects and I did read what you said about them not killing me, but as I am sure your well aware the mind is a powerful thing. 

I will start taking them tomorrow morning because I want my life back! and am I ever scared! The doctor gave me the 25 mg because I was on it before and I suggested it but for 5 days I have been in worry about starting them again and what it will be like.  My mind is in a tailspin I keep thinking maybe I don’t need to do this, or maybe I should have asked for a lower dosage, and so and so on. Like I said Tailspin.

What I do want to know is since reading your site, I noticed that everyone is talking about taking Paxil and well Im taking Paxil Cr is it the same thing?

I have bookmarked your site and I will continue to go to it for advice and for calming.  I really appreciate it that you have this site and found relief while reading it as I knew I wasn’t alone in this that other suffer the same and have the same questions and fears.  Which I always deep down knew this but like I said before the mind is a powerful thing. 

If you have further advice I would love to hear it.

Thank you again

Betty

Answer;

Hello Betty,
 
Ah yes. Your mind has been playing a collection of fears again like an old movie. You are going to be OK. Try to not take your thoughts seriously right now. After a week and a half you will begin to calm down as Paxil takes it’s effect.
 
This time, when you are calmer (and you will be soon), start reading materials that explain how the mind can be slowed down.
 
We, sufferers of anxiety, are people that have had a life history of creating negative fantasies, and have spent long periods of time without reminding ourselves that OUR mind’s judgments and fears are not real. We need to re-learn what is real.
 
Reality is that you are OK. Reality is that you will be just fine. Reality is that you DON’T have to be in control of everything. Reality is that you can just let WHAT IS, BE as it IS, and not judge it. That includes judging yourself as broken, or somehow defective.
 
There is nothing defective about YOU – the REAL you. It’s only your mind that has been hijacked by your ego – scaring you.
 
In reality there is nothing to be afraid of. In reality you are never alone. In reality all is well.
 
Sure, “things happen” that will shake up our egos because our egos fear loss of form so much. Or egos fear losing friends, lovers, family members, money, houses, cars, social status, old age, health, etc. etc. etc.
 
When we lose a job, monthly income, a wife, a husband, a parent, a child, a home, or whatever…….our egoic minds go into tailspins. And EVEN IF WE ARE NOT LOSING THOSE THINGS AT THE MOMENT, our egos fear losing them some day.
 
When we learn to face the FACTS of life, losing these forms is not bad. It’s only natural.
 
Have you ever noticed that when we spend days, weeks, months, or years worrying about something “bad happening”, and when (if) that “bad thing” does happen, we find out that it wasn’t SO BAD AT ALL! In fact, the change in form, or loss of form sometimes brings us back to a place where reality lives.
 
The only reality is this very second. All that matters is this very second as you read this. Ask yourself this;
 
“At this very moment what is lacking?”
 
- is your body in pain (probably not)
- are you dying (no)
- are you homeless (no)
- is the world bad (no)
- are you losing your mind (no)
 
Our egoic minds want to ignore the present moment and keep you worried about the future.

Our egoic minds want to ignore the present moment and keep you believing the past was scary and bad.
 
Both of these egoic beliefs are false, false, and more false.
 
Burn up time. Burn up the past and the future.
 
Go out for a walk and take notice of how still the trees are that you see. If you live in a major city, walk to a park and look a the grass and trees and notice how still they are. If a willow tree to could speak English, and you asked it,
 
“What time is it?”
 
It would say, “Now, the time is now….there is nothing else”.
 
If you could ask a cow what his worries were, or tell it about your worries, it would laugh and giggle,
 
“What is worry??? I don’t understand…..everything is fine right now.”
 
We humans are the only living things on this planet that have MINDS and EGOS. Us humans are the only living things on this earth that make up fears and fantasies about the future, and create remorse of the past.
 
Shut that mind of yours off! When it kicks back to thinking it’s 60,000 thoughts a day again, be aware of it, and shut if off again.
 
I know that doing that may seem impossible right now, but that is OK. Even if you continue to worry this week, don’t resist anything. JUST BE AWARE of the fact that your egoic mind it trying to run the show. Just watch your thoughts and DON’T BELIEVE your thoughts.
 
At some point a quiet little voice will be heard whispering,
 
“It’s OK….you are wonderful, and life is not scary. Life is not bad. Life is good, and I have so many wonderful things for you to see. Be still darling. There is nothing to be afraid of – ever.”
 
That quiet little voice is the real you – that real you is who you can believe in. That real you is in all humans, and we are all connected. That real you is in the stillness deep in the ocean, or in the clouds silently moving by in the sky. That real you is in the willow tree that resists nothing and allows everything to be as it is.
 
So if any of these words have helped you, this is what you need to do more of. Find writings, videos, and audio CDs that point to the truth. The truth is good, perfect, and decent. Just like you.

When you get chance, pick up these audio books from Echart Tolle – they will help you SO much. I listen to these two CD collections every couple of weeks to remind myself of what is real. These two audio sets have changed millions of lives. Transformed mine.

1. The FindHorn Retreat – You’ll Laugh, Snicker, and FEEL Really Good
2. The Power of Now – Really helps calm our minds down and learn the art of living without stress.

 Jacob

Hi Guys,
 
I came across your site last night at 4 am while suffering from a giant panic attack. I wanted to tell you how great I think your site is and to thank you for hosting a site like this one. We (people in the Paxil community) so desperately needed it.
 
My story is interesting in that I went on Paxil 15 or so years ago. Right when it first came out. I’m one of the front-line users. You could still go on Google then and do a search of side effects and come up with nothing -lol. Can you believe it? Now all you hear is how it ruined everyones life all day every day.
 
I had always suffered from anxiety and low level panic attacks and then, suddenly, in my late 30′s I was getting the full blown attacks – I’m sure hormones had a lot to do with it. Also, my mother suffered from Panic disorder, too and that’s when hers really got going strong. Back when she was suffering, there was nothing anyone could really do. All they had at the time was Valium and it only worked for a few hours and was highly addictive. She tried cognitive therapy too, but her anxiety was too high for that to work.
 
We have to all remember when we are having problems with anxiety and panic how great we have it now.  There are so many good drugs out there in this market, no one needs to suffer. That’s a positive thing to know.
 
Paxil always worked for me right from the start. I quickly went up to a 15 mil dosage and stayed on that for all 15 years. I did great on it. Recently a friend of mine, who quit his meds, talked me into going off it. After-all, I had been on it for 15 years without a break, why not see if I was “cured.” I tapered off 1 mil at a time till I got to 7mils and then I started getting hyper so stopped and figured I’d just stay with the 7 mils from now on. I had all the brain zaps and dizziness, but honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I had read on the “fright” sites. Well, this new regiment worked great for 3 months then suddenly, just like they appeared in my late 30′s, the panic attacks returned full force.
 
Here’s my question to you all. I ramped back up to the 15 mils 2 nights ago and it has not stopped the panic attacks. I have the waves of panic all night long. I always took my meds at night because they made me sleepy. I’m now wondering if Paxil is going to work for me again or something has changed and they are now not working. Have you ever heard of this happening? I am going to keep on them for at least 2 more weeks to see if I start feeling better, I’m sure my body is depleted and it will take time to get back in my system. However, I keep “fearing” they will now not work because I read on so many “fright” sites that this will happen. I will be devastated if that is the case as I don’t want to have to switch meds. It’s very hard finding the right med & dosage for each individual and I just cannot believe I screwed around with my delicate balance of brain chemicals by going off my meds.
 
A psych once told me that Panic Disorder runs in families, true in my case, and is chronic. There is no cure, but there is management. I should have listened and I hope my story will let others out there know that when you get a good thing, don’t mess with it. Even if you are on a drug for 15year or more so what if you feel good on it with no side effects.
 
Now, I’m back at square one, but really freaked out the pills won’t work for me. After I take my pill at night I can get to sleep, but I wake up with waves of adrenaline all night long. Again, it’s only been 2 nights so I’m hoping for the best.
 
I know you deal with people from all over all hear many stories.. Please be honest and let me know if you have heard stories of Paxil no longer working for people after they stop.
 
I will wait to hear back from you. Thanks for your great site and time.

Daniel

 Answer:

Hi Daniel,

Thanks for visiting Sane Advice.
 
Just finished reading your email, and I can tell that you are going to be OK.
 
Don’t worry about Paxil not working, because it can be a part of your overall process in LEARNING to live differently, and when I say differently, I mean learning to not take our fearful thoughts so seriously.
 
I too get anxiety still from time to time, and I don’t even know where it comes from at first. BUT, I always know it is caused because I am afraid of something or other going “wrong” in my life. When that happens I always take a mental step back and remember that whatever is bothering me is “IN MY MIND”, and not based on fact. But learning to change the way we judge our thoughts and thinking is only part of it. Using medication properly is important too.
 
I was always told by my doctor(s) that using Paxil is a morning event, and I believe that to be true, and it’s important to take your dosage the same time every day – say between 8AM adn 10AM.
 
Now. Regarding your dosages.
 
You went back up to 15 mils for just a few days right. It will take a week to two weeks before you get back on track again. Try to get lots of fresh air, talk to a willing friend, hold hands….whatever you need to do to let your mind have a break from it’s self. Try taking Paxil in the morning and if you have to use Ativan or something like it for a couple of weeks, talk to your doctor about that.
 
Don’t think that you can never live without Paxil all together either. Perhaps it just wasn’t time to stop yet. Tapering down is the right way to go when you ween off, but like my doctor(s) have always told me……”don’t taper down until the big stressors in your life are gone”. I also add that we shouldn’t taper down until we have LEARNED to look at life on this earth differently.
 
You are right, and your doctor(s) are right. Some of us have learned to fear from the people that raised us, and the enviroment we were raised in. SO – we need to lovingly forgive those who influenced us with fear, and learn to break away from the belief that “something bad is about to happen”.
 
The TRUTH is that if we take our worried minds out of play, there is no problems – only life situations. To relearn out thinking we need to consume material that helps us understand the truth of our time here on the planet, and learn to see life through a REAL lense, and not our fearful lense.
 
Unless we learn to see the world through a different lense, we are likely to fall back to our old ways of processing our thoughts when we taper off of anti-anxiety medication.
 
My advice is to stay on your 15 mils and let things calm down (AND THEY WILL). THEN start reading and listening to people who have made it their life long journey to help humans free themselves of their constant negative mind activity. I have read and listened to many different people like this, and the one person that really helps me understand how my mind (and the human mind) works, is Eckhart Tolle. Don’t worry….he is not some freaky religious person who runs some sort of wierd cult or anything like that. Ignore all of the fanatically inclined religious zealots on the web – Eckhart is not a religious leader that is trying to get between people and their religions – he only helps people understand how our minds are trying to “run the show”, and how change our lives dramatically.
 
I highly recommend getting these two cd sets. The reason I suggest getting the CD sets is because his voice is SO CALMING, and the what he says quiets the mind dramatically. Like I said, I’ve listened to all the so-called “greats”, but no-one relaxes me and gives me a sense of peace like him. Also, if I’m ever really “messed up” with fear and anxiety, I can’t focus on reading a book – when I can just listen it’s much better and the truth of his words and that sound of his voice begin to take hold.
 
You can get these for cheap, and when you can afford to spend a few bucks on these PLEASE do it. It changed my life so much so that I just can’t relay how much in words. Watch this video of Eckhart here.

The FindHorn Retreat – You’ll Laugh, Snicker, and FEEL Really Good
 
The Power of Now – Really helps calm our minds down and learn the art of living without stress.

You will get through this, and please try to avoid these blogs and forums that are filled with people who are letting their worried minds dicate their day. Worried minds want to worry other minds. People slowly ween themselves off Paxil all over the world, and they do that when they are ready.

The trick to life is not sorting out our ”problems”. It’s understanding that there are no “problems”.
 
Love to you from me (Jacob) and Emma

Response:

Dear Jacob,
 
Thank you so much for your compassionate email. Some good news, the Paxil has started to kick in and I had a much better night last night. It DOES still work and I didn’t have suffer with panic for 4 to 6 weeks before I saw any light. I also saw a Dr and he told me that the blogs are WRONG. A medication does not just stop working for someone who has taken it successfully as long as I have. Why do people write this stuff?
 
You are so right about letting the dark thoughts overtake us. I’ve been on a personal journey for several years now to try to stay positive, surrounding myself with only positive people and things, eating right, exercise, meditation – in a few words, keeping balanced and always going toward the truth and light.
 
I had read a book by Eckhart Tolle a long time ago. I had forgotten about him. I will get the books/CD’s you recommended and can’t wait to read them. In the world today, with so many toxic messages being thrown at us from every direction, we need these voices of calm and reason. Spirituality and staying on the right path really helps us at whatever stage of development we are at.
 
Having Panic Disorder, not just anxiety, I try to look at it like a challenge that I must fight to stay ahead of. I believe that with Panic Disorder there are brain chemicals that just fire off at the wrong time. It used to happen to me (pre Paxil) at times when I was so calm. Nothing apparently caused it. Scientists can now watch this happen on a MRI in Panic Attack sufferers and they know what part of the brain is responsible.  That was a HUGE help in developing the newer meds because, before that…..there wasn’t much that worked. For me, I think meds will probably be a part of my life forever. It’s not like you can meditate a malfunction in your brain away, but staying calm and true to one’s life journey just helps get me back on track sooner rather than later. Also, I can meditate and deep breath a low level attack away – it’s just the full blown attacks – I shake like convulsions, can’t hear, my arms go numb, become freezing cold, etc. – that I need the meds for.
 
Again, thank you for your time & compassion & positive words – and great web-site.

Hello Jacob & Emma,

I came across your website last night and have been reading as much as possible on there over the evening and morning.

After five months of anxiety, I have found depression starting to creep in over the past month.  I decided therefore it was time to take some medication.  I have been taking Ativan off and on for a few months (0.5mg two or three times a week) but decided to start an SNRI (Pristiq).

My doctor suggested taking it at night because she’s found it’s generally sedating.  I started last night and ended up not sleeping properly at all – up most of the night.  I can’t exactly blame it on the antidepressant because I have had lots of other nights like this due to anxiety.  So I don’t know if it’s the meds or the anxiety.  All night I was obsessing over the medication and worried about side effects.

I suppose what I should do is just take Ativan at night to help me sleep but whenever I do I get a terrible guilt and worry about THOSE side effects.  It’s like I’m in this terrible thought “rut” where I can’t make a decision because every outcome is disastrous.  I’m worried that the Pristiq is going to make me “stoned” and not function at work.  Or keep me up and make me exhausted.

Anyway I don’t know exactly why I’m telling you all of this other than I really enjoyed your site and it gave me comfort last night and maybe you have some advice for me as I start the Pristiq?

Dennis (Vancouver B.C)

Advice;

I went (and we all do who have dealt with anxiety) worry about the side effects of medication.

The truth (from the doctors I’ve spoken with) is that the amount of Ativan you are taking WILL
NOT cause side effects that can hurt you. I took at Ativan 3 times a day for 4 months at one
time and I never became addicted. So for now, when you take your Ativan at night don’t worry
about it because you are not going to get any bad side effects with that little of medication each
24 hour period.

Next thing is anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication. These WILL not hurt you either. The
ONLY concern with these drugs is making sure you ween yourself off them very slowly when
that time comes. You may always take a small dosage of medication each evening or morning
for the rest of your life. Many people do, and that is OK TOO! I have spoken with multiple doctors
about the long term effect of Paxil for instance, and they ALL told me that a small dosage each
day can be taken for your entire life. One doctor went as far as saying that a small (10mg) dosage
daily for the rest of my life may EXTEND my life due to the positive effects of less stress and
they are starting to see a link between properly stimulated serotonin in the human brain and
longevity here on earth.

So my Advice is to take your medication when your doctor says to, and don’t worry about.
Especially in Canada. The medical system in Canada is very strict and the doctors well educated.
The only side effect from most of these drugs is a POSSIBLE little weight gain over time, so don’t
stress it.

If this drug does not work for you, try Paxil. I have been taking 10mg of Paxil daily for 8 years now
and there has been NO side effects except my weight went up 10 pounds, which I needed anyway.

Never forget that on small dosages you won’t have any huge side effects, and never forget that your
body is a miraculous instrument that will sort out all the issues on it’s own.

If you feel little brain swooshes when your medication is taking effect over the next two weeks, don’t
worry about it…..you will be fine.

YOU are going to be fine Dennis. You are living in an extremely good country as far as medical systems
go. Talk to your doctor, and you guys will find the right medication for you, and then everything is going
to level off and you will be doing fine. YOU WILL get through all of this. THIS WILL PASS!

Go for a walk today and get some fresh air. Pay special attention the trees, and fields, the streets, the
people, and the wonderful and historical piece of Vancouver you are currently living in. Breath the air in
deep and remember…..you are still here, and you have many good years to come in your life. Your mind
is going to settle down, and your body is going to be fine.

Take your Ativan a couple times a day until you find the right anti-anxiety/anti-depressant meds for you.
Don’t worry – twice a day will not hurt you. Don’t forget that. And don’t forget that you are not alone with
these fears, worries, and imagined “problems”. You are one of many many millions on this earth who
are or have dealt with exactly the same “stinkin thinkin”.

Now watch this video

Read A New Earth by Tolle as well. I found it really helped me calm down.

Response;

Thank you for the reassuring words.  I will try to lighten up regarding Ativan as sleep is very important to me.

I started the Pristiq last night and today I am absolutely EXHAUSTED.  I am scared because I don’t know how I will manage to work if this exhaustion continues.  I’m not sure if it’s from the Pristiq or from being up so much last night (probably a combination).

I’m not at all worried about being on drugs for a long time, or the weaning off process. I think that sometimes medication is necessary and have no problem with this.  My problem is that I worry to death about the side effects and don’t know if/when they will go away. One problem with Pristiq is the starting dose is the therapeutic dose – it only comes in 50mg. So I can’t “start small” and work up. I guess this is good and bad because if I can get through the first few days hopefully it will get better and then I don’t have to do a dosage increase.

Anyway, I am going to have a nap!

Thanks again for your help, I appreciate it so much.  I don’t have anybody to talk to who knows what I’m going through and I feel like I’m driving my wife crazy complaining.

Dennis

Follow-up again;

Ah yes….naps are fantastic. Slows down the heart rate.
 
I also watch old feel good shows before my nap every day. Like
Beverly Hillbillies, whatever is safe and funny.
 
Yeah, and I drive my wife crazy too!!
 
Love Jacob

Tired, Fatigued, and Exhausted Starting Ant-Anxiety/Anti-Depression Meds;

Jacob, do you have any idea how long the exhaustion might last? Is it maybe just the first couple of days and then gets better? My problem is I have no idea how long to “tolerate” it. Or am I just being totally overanalyzing things after only one day!!

Advice;

You’re not overanalyzing things. It’s perfectly normal to feel some concern, but when I first started taking an anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication I was exhausted for the first 4-5 days. What’s happening is your body is still trying to maintain “fight or flight” and the medication is already beginning to help. 

More;

I instantly went from living in a middle class house with my parents to living in extremely run-down apartment buildings surrounded by others who were very poor, on welfare, assistance…….and of course drugs and alcohol. I learned very quickly what the world looks like when you are on the bottom of the money ladder.

At first I didn’t even care because I was always high, and I had my music. I still had basic health too from eating and exercising properly as a child living with my parents – but time ticks on, and with a really bad diet, and zero exercise, I began to crumble emotionally and physically. I’m 6’3″ tall and now weigh a comfortable 250 lbs – back then I was only 140 lbs. I had a messy beard, faded and ripped clothing, and frankly I could almost pass for a street urchin.

I soon learned to FEAR being poor and having to live in a neighborhood like that again. I’ve never managed to shake that fear.

Still Worrying About Being Poor

So here I am at 47 years old with the same OLD fear of having no money to live a comfortable life. No money to buy decent clothing. No money for good food. No money to have a car to get around in, and no money for any kind of entertainment.

Ironically, I try to help people get over their fear, and keep a balance emotionally. I write all my frilly words in an effort to help my readers relax and finally believe that they are NOT alone. I believe every word I write too, but when I see that my wife and I might me facing a financial set back, I am a lost child – petrified and in a full blown panic attack.

It’s the one thing that I seem powerless to control in my life. I look back on my entire adult life, and every time I have been overcome with anxiety, fearful, frozen, and having panic attacks, it was because I told myself that I should be afraid of being poor.

Oh yes, they say that we all have this fear trigger regarding money, and it’s SORT OF true. What’s different is the LEVEL of fear, worry, and anxiety a person has over lack of money. We’re all concerned, but we’re not all terrified over lack of money.

So today on this post, I can’t say I have the answers because I still torture myself over this, but I DO know what I begin to tell myself when these fears have gripped me. I will share this thought process with you.

How I Stop Worrying About Money

There are certain things I tell myself like a mantra when I’m scared and worried about not having enough money. These are listed below;

• “There are people starving and living in filth all over the planet, and you live in a nice home in North America – get real”
• “When I was poor it wasn’t being poor that was the problem – the problem was the lifestyle choices you made”
• “Out of the billions of people on the planet, what makes you think that your problems are such a big deal?”
• “You are 47 years old and you have been employed somewhere since you were 16 years old – what makes you think that you won’t find a job, or find a way to make money in the future?”
• Wake up – go for a walk, and just make a choice NOT to worry about money right  now”
• Stop taking yourself so damn seriously
• Stop making up little fantasies of poverty
• It’s not about ME
• You are not poor – get real!

These are just some of the things I remind myself when I’m frozen with fear over money. It helps to remember that we are not alone and that there are billions of people on the planet who are fearing poverty like you are, and further, if you live Canada or the United States you always have a way to change your direction and create a lifestyle that begins to lift you out of poverty.

The Wealthy Fearing Lack of Money

Most often the people who worry about having no money are the ones who have it. My brother-in-law has a friend who is a market trader and he has a personal wealth of over $10,000,000 dollars and absolutely no debt. He is constantly gripped with fear over money. He has recently been buying up gold like crazy because he is so worried about losing any of the money he has.

This is proof that my fear of being poor is a fantasy in a relative comparison. Fear of having no money is like any fear – it’s a fantasty fear when it’s the actual situation – I’m worrying about a POSSIBLE future life situation that is not factual. It may never be a fact that I end up on the street and poorer than a church mouse again – slim chance – why?

Because of my huge fear of poverty I have paid special attention to finding ways to not be poor, and create a residual income for myself online. Because of this my financial situation is very fortunate indeed. My wife and I are not rich like the fella I just described, but we are certainly in the financial category of upper-middle class.

The house is apprasied at $650,000 in the current market, we only owe $155,000 on it. We make over $5000 a month net income from Internet traffic, and we don’t have ANY high interest debt – such as credit cards, overdrafts, and lines of credit.

Sure we have a mortgage payment of $900 a month, taxes, bills, car payment, RV payment, and food costs, but we are FAR from being destitute. Because of my fears regarding the possible lack of money, I have spent most of my waking hours working to avoid it, whereas another guy might not fear financial ruin, and never spend any extra time worrying about money, and working hard to create more monthly and yearly income. Because of this attitude, that guy may end up over his head in debt. He will worry about it for a short time, then make a lifestyle change (usually forced to may a change due to bankruptcy) and be done with. His financial worring is kept short and it’s real. Nothing to get hung about every day. If only I could do that.

Money Fears (lack of) Because of a Past Bankruptcy

One of the other reasons my anxiety is so easily triggered by money worries is because I had to claim personal bankruptcy about 11 years ago. Once again – I was defenseless against my worrying mind, and I put myself through a living hell for about 6 months.

So now ALL bills are paid when they come through the door, we don’t carry any debt over a month, and we clap down on spending as soon as it looks our monthly income is not going to cover our monthly bills. It’s over-kill and I know it.

The only way I stop worrying about money is to earn allot of it. When our little Internet business is making over $10,000 a month I begin to relax beautifully, and when we are dipping below $5000, I’m full on panic mode.

Maybe Some Day I’ll Finally Stop Worrying About Money

Some day maybe I’ll stop worrying about money, and I know that day is coming sooner than later. Then I’ll have to find something else to worry about. No problem – I will find something to worry about – always have and maybe always will.

Hi, your website is very comforting.  I  greatly experienced love and God’s presence in my youth and early 20′s. I had a hard road in some ways but it was all paved with love and beauty so I could endure it. After 3 children, my husband being a military man working 90+ hour weeks, and 5 cross-the-globe moves to try to get better hours for him, my body was completely exhausted.

I had my 1st panic attack after my husband told me we needed to file for bankruptcy because he had hidden debts from me so I wouldn’t be worried. That was in the winter of 2002.  I’ve read a lot of success books after that to find out what I was doing wrong which the law of attraction.  Before, when I had a bad thought, I could just let it pass and not let it affect me but then I became afraid I was attracting bad things to my loved ones.

If I just had never read those evil books. I’ve even tried to look up scriptures but even those can be terrifying like the book of Job says,

“I feared a fear and it came upon me.”

I just need to know my thoughts cannot create things and hurt me and my loved ones. That God is in control and not me. I don’t want to live if I am hurting people with my thoughts, and how terrifying it is to realize that some of my horrid thoughts have come true.

Am I creating these things or just have the ability to foretell them? Many pastors and psychiatrists have not been able to help me and have just made my fears worse.

I would greatly appreciate it if you have any insight into this problem. By the way – I’ve seen stage 3 anxiety for months and months. Effexor helped to get me out of a 24/7 panic state but I can’t sleep on it. Any good sleep solutions or meds? I use ativan just for sleep.

Don’t you think the book of Lamentations in the bible perfectly describes spiritually a stage 3 anxiety state that you cannot get out of?

Thanks

ANSWER

Hi there. Sounds like you are working things out slowly.

The medication is very good when we need it, but there will be a day when you won’t need it anymore. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will be a day when you have excepted all of the changes in your life situation, and you will have improved on them.

You must NEVER read into the writings of some other human. Remember that scary thoughts written and spoken by any human, in the bible (or on the news) is created by human ego, and should NEVER be taken as authority.

You can tell when the real authority of our human world is speaking…..it’s when you are looking out over a clear blue sky day, or waking up to the fresh air as you enter outside in the morning, and you get a feeling of AHHHH — it’s all good. What a beautiful world we are living in. THAT is the essence and life of reality speaking to you.

When you are looking at another human being and you are feeling a sense of love and connection with them……THAT is reality. THAT is God essence.

Some words written by some manipulative fear monger thousands of years ago is NOT real.

There are certain passages of the Bible (old T and new T) that are written by enlightened men and women (yes, I believe there were many more women involved in the writing of the original Greek versions, which were interpretations) and they were writing from presence – they were filled with “God Essence” as they wrote. Those verses, psalms, parables, and passages ARE real, and to be taken seriously.

It’s a simple rule with the Bible, or ANY human created text, film, or idea;

If it makes you feel good inside, and makes you unafraid, it is REAL.

If it makes you fearful, frightened, guilty, afraid, worried, it is FALSE.

This goes for your inner dialogue as well. Those goes for my inner dialogue too. When we believe thoughts that give a sense of peace, and fearlessness, we are in tune with what is real in us. When we believe thoughts that make us frightened we are feeling what is false in us.

Always remember that JUST BECAUSE OUR MIND THINKS DOES NOT MAKE IT SO. All of these people through the ages who tell us that because we think something, it happens (like the secret) are perpetrating more falsehoods. Our minds can think ANYTHING it wants and it’s up to us if we choose to believe our own mind ramblings. We can choose NOT to believe our worried minds.

We can’t take ourselves so seriously when our thinking is fear based. You CAN take yourself seriously when our thinking is NON-fear based. We can take ourselves seriously when we see a stranger cross the street and we send them a silent blessing and we believe it.

This takes practice my friend. Even if you don’t believe it today, start sending silent blessing to strangers passing by, co-workers, friends, relatives. Even if you are feeling fearful, angry, and lost. Keep sending those blessing out.

Try waking up in the morning and visualize all the people in your life and think of them with love – send them a silent burst of love. When you are done that, think of yourself, and do the same. You may find that the hardest thing to do is send that silent burst of love to yourself! This is a sign that you have been believing the fearful thoughts and letting your mind and ego control the last few days, weeks, and maybe months. This is a sign that you need to reassemble.

We reassemble every day, every moment. Reassembling means excepting and creatively
altering your life situation.

One thing for certain. All this will pass.

Hope this helps,

Jacob

My experience and what my doctor said would happen was the same. I thought Paxil was making me tired, and indeed it was because it was forcing me to start slowing down.

Paxil needs at least one and half weeks to kick in. I honestly believe that 90% of people saying they have side effects are telling themselves something bad is going to happen, which is what we do when we are badly stressed. We convince ourselves that something is wrong, when in reality nothing is wrong. We convince ourselves that there are problems, when there are no problems. Only situations (Eckhart Tolle).

I have had all of the symptoms described above whenever I started Paxil, and I had to wait it out for 2 weeks before everything came back into focus again.

I’ve heard people say that Paxil where off after so many years, but my doctor says that is incorrect. I have never found that to be the case. HOWEVER, if you are on a low dose like me at 10mg a day, and you have stressful “things” happening in your life, you can still fall into extreme anxiety – I did two weeks ago. Paxil is not the end all solution – it can help.

It always comes down to one thing (on meds or off) – don’t take your mind seriously. When it worries – laugh at it. When your mind tries to convice you that something bad is going to happen – ignore it.

I always tell people I know whenever they are stressed,

“Your mind can’t be trusted”

It’s true. Your mind is a simple tool that the ego works with to create deception, fear and misery. The ego loves the mind because it can be controlled and upset. The REAL you is NOT your mind, although you have be taught to believe that.

Laugh at your bad thoughts. When you hear a good thought, your are starting to here reality again coming through the fog.

Why is Buddha always laughing in pictures and statues? He’s laughing because he knows what is real. He is giggling at the insanity of mind and ego. We can also snicker at our worried mind. We have to stop taking ourselves so seriously. We are by nature still and at peace, but we have forgotten that.

Fear is fantasy. Peace is the light.

No go out for a walk and be sure to stop, sit in the grass, and put your hands deep into the grass. Remember when you were a bored kid sitting in the school field at some event, laying back on your hands in the grass?

It’s still the same. This is real. This earth is turning and you are here for a short visit. We are all going to die sometime – tomorrow, next year, or in 40 years. It’s not a problem – nothing is problem. Losing a job, house, marriage, loved one, or your body is not a problem. Your mind tells you it is a problem. Society tells us it is a problem, but it’s not a problem.

Whatever you are fearing is not a problem. Our ego can’t except loss of anything and our minds will dance with our ego into it’s own creation of hell.

Go downtown and find the crippled man laying in the street – stop, smile at him and say a kind word to him. You will see for the moment your anxiety vanish. When we are SELF absorbed we worry. When we are loving other life forms we are in tune again with our true selves.

Banish your mind and ego. Just use your mind to buy groceries, go to work, play with the kids, drive your car, brush your teeth, and go to bed. That’s all you have to do – just BE.

You don’t need to BE anything in this world, and you need to have anything either. Just be.
Be mindless for a few minutes a day.

Oh….and and just to remind you…………………….you are not terminally ill and you are NOT going to die.

Jacob