Hi, your website is very comforting.  I  greatly experienced love and God’s presence in my youth and early 20′s. I had a hard road in some ways but it was all paved with love and beauty so I could endure it. After 3 children, my husband being a military man working 90+ hour weeks, and 5 cross-the-globe moves to try to get better hours for him, my body was completely exhausted.

I had my 1st panic attack after my husband told me we needed to file for bankruptcy because he had hidden debts from me so I wouldn’t be worried. That was in the winter of 2002.  I’ve read a lot of success books after that to find out what I was doing wrong which the law of attraction.  Before, when I had a bad thought, I could just let it pass and not let it affect me but then I became afraid I was attracting bad things to my loved ones.

If I just had never read those evil books. I’ve even tried to look up scriptures but even those can be terrifying like the book of Job says,

“I feared a fear and it came upon me.”

I just need to know my thoughts cannot create things and hurt me and my loved ones. That God is in control and not me. I don’t want to live if I am hurting people with my thoughts, and how terrifying it is to realize that some of my horrid thoughts have come true.

Am I creating these things or just have the ability to foretell them? Many pastors and psychiatrists have not been able to help me and have just made my fears worse.

I would greatly appreciate it if you have any insight into this problem. By the way – I’ve seen stage 3 anxiety for months and months. Effexor helped to get me out of a 24/7 panic state but I can’t sleep on it. Any good sleep solutions or meds? I use ativan just for sleep.

Don’t you think the book of Lamentations in the bible perfectly describes spiritually a stage 3 anxiety state that you cannot get out of?

Thanks

ANSWER

Hi there. Sounds like you are working things out slowly.

The medication is very good when we need it, but there will be a day when you won’t need it anymore. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will be a day when you have excepted all of the changes in your life situation, and you will have improved on them.

You must NEVER read into the writings of some other human. Remember that scary thoughts written and spoken by any human, in the bible (or on the news) is created by human ego, and should NEVER be taken as authority.

You can tell when the real authority of our human world is speaking…..it’s when you are looking out over a clear blue sky day, or waking up to the fresh air as you enter outside in the morning, and you get a feeling of AHHHH — it’s all good. What a beautiful world we are living in. THAT is the essence and life of reality speaking to you.

When you are looking at another human being and you are feeling a sense of love and connection with them……THAT is reality. THAT is God essence.

Some words written by some manipulative fear monger thousands of years ago is NOT real.

There are certain passages of the Bible (old T and new T) that are written by enlightened men and women (yes, I believe there were many more women involved in the writing of the original Greek versions, which were interpretations) and they were writing from presence – they were filled with “God Essence” as they wrote. Those verses, psalms, parables, and passages ARE real, and to be taken seriously.

It’s a simple rule with the Bible, or ANY human created text, film, or idea;

If it makes you feel good inside, and makes you unafraid, it is REAL.

If it makes you fearful, frightened, guilty, afraid, worried, it is FALSE.

This goes for your inner dialogue as well. Those goes for my inner dialogue too. When we believe thoughts that give a sense of peace, and fearlessness, we are in tune with what is real in us. When we believe thoughts that make us frightened we are feeling what is false in us.

Always remember that JUST BECAUSE OUR MIND THINKS DOES NOT MAKE IT SO. All of these people through the ages who tell us that because we think something, it happens (like the secret) are perpetrating more falsehoods. Our minds can think ANYTHING it wants and it’s up to us if we choose to believe our own mind ramblings. We can choose NOT to believe our worried minds.

We can’t take ourselves so seriously when our thinking is fear based. You CAN take yourself seriously when our thinking is NON-fear based. We can take ourselves seriously when we see a stranger cross the street and we send them a silent blessing and we believe it.

This takes practice my friend. Even if you don’t believe it today, start sending silent blessing to strangers passing by, co-workers, friends, relatives. Even if you are feeling fearful, angry, and lost. Keep sending those blessing out.

Try waking up in the morning and visualize all the people in your life and think of them with love – send them a silent burst of love. When you are done that, think of yourself, and do the same. You may find that the hardest thing to do is send that silent burst of love to yourself! This is a sign that you have been believing the fearful thoughts and letting your mind and ego control the last few days, weeks, and maybe months. This is a sign that you need to reassemble.

We reassemble every day, every moment. Reassembling means excepting and creatively
altering your life situation.

One thing for certain. All this will pass.

Hope this helps,

Jacob

I am scared that my anxiety is so bad it will ruin my relationship. I am currently transferring from Paxil to Lexapro.

I start getting negative thoughts and feelings about my relationship and they have been coming and going for about 3 months now.

It is really bothering me and I just want it to go away. I know I love my boyfriend with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Why am I feeling this way and how do I make it go away?

Answer:

Thanks for writing in to Sane Advice. Your transfer will be troublesome as almost all medication changes, but do what your doctor’s say, obey the instructions that come with the medications.

Don’t take your thoughts seriously when you are in this state of flux. Try to find places to find solitude, make sure you eat even if you don’t want to, and consider talking to your doctor regarding about using Ativan (or something like it) while you are in switching medications.

Please remember that you are not alone. No-one is ever alone.