Notice how your mind is being used to visualize these things I’m asking you to visualize. Notice how the mind is simply a tool that the ego will try to hijack, but yet it’s a tool your true self uses as well. The difference is that your true self uses the mind correctly, while the ego uses your mind incorrectly.

When you FEEL you true self using your mind correctly, you will feel a sensation of witnessing. Your goal is to let “the witness” have ownership of your mind. The witness is actually the universal mind speaking through you. You will be finally conscious to reality, and not the falsehoods your ego has been perpetuating.

If you are thinking any scary thoughts, or fears, don’t you worry! This is just the frightened ego panicking. The ego is not your enemy though, O.K. – look upon your ego as nothing more than a frightened child that needs some direction. It’s never about killing your ego – it’s all about accepting and witnessing your ego, and taking it by the hand with love and kindness.

What we’re doing here is taking your ego by the hand and going for a walk. Explain to your ego that everything is going to be fine. Tell your ego things like, “Don’t worry – we’ll have lots of fun in the future, and I have not forgotten you.”

Tell your ego that you love him or her. Tell your ego that you are going to look after everything, and that it will never be alone. Then tell your ego that you are going to take control the reins for awhile, because it has been worrying much too much about the future, and feeling much to much guilt about the past.

Explain to your ego that it’s NOT going crazy in any way. Explain to your ego that it’s just a normal human trait to feel these emotions from time to time. Remember that all of this fear will pass. Remember that any time you are feeling frightened, it’s the ego in you that is trying to take the wheel for total control.

Gently, with a loving touch, ease your ego’s fingers off the steering wheel. Put a hand on your ego’s head and turn to look him or her in the eye. At this point of the thought process, imagine seeing your ego face to face. You may see a child which is very common. (this is what some in the recovery movement do to identify their “inner child” and forgive it with love. When recovery movements, therapies, or self-help literature speak of the inner child, they are actually describing of the ego)

All you want to do is loosen the grip your worried ego has and allow the true presence of yourself take over. When you have worry free days, and you feel happy, content, and not afraid, you are feeling positive about the future and present moment. You are not moved by guilt of the past, or remorse of the past either. You are not moved by guilt just because you thought badly of other people. When you have these great days, it’s your ego feeling satisfied with everything going on in your life currently, and your true self rejoices in the bliss of the moment because it’s always been there waiting patiently for your ego to understand that “everything is alright”.

Unfortunately, when your life situation is not ideal, and there is external stress to deal with, your ego can begin to feel overwhelmed and afraid. It then tries paint everything black and tries to block out your eternal bliss.  This is when you are miserable and anxious. Some people spill all their anger, fear, rage, and misery outwards, causing suffering and pain for all others around them. They feel some relief for a brief instance, and then their ego manages to quickly start “beating themselves up”, causing even more anxiety for themselves. Often when this kind of ego enslavement is in action the human will then resort to some sort of drug or alcohol “solution”, which is also brief, and followed by more guilt, physical discomfort, and more external drama perpetrated on other human beings. This is what the Bible and other faith-based teachings define as hell – and all along it never HAS to be this way.

Now for those who suffer from anxiety, we usually internalize our ego-based anger, sadness, fear, and loathing. This causes our anxiety disorders. Remember the old bumper sticker and poster of the 1970′s that had this saying?,

“Stress: The confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it”

This is an ego-based statement. It’s surely funny, but why is it so funny? Because it’s makes us laugh at our silly human egos. We all have moments in our lives when we are really angry (disconnected from reality) and we think to ourselves something like, “I’d like to punch that person out”.

Of course, the vast majority of people on earth don’t act on a thought like that, because deep inside we know it’s a ridiculous and hateful thing to do, and we’re afraid of what will happen as well. So when we have a chance to laugh at our own angry moments and negative emotions, it’s a great relief. I think I’ve mentioned before that laughing at yourself (or your ego actually) is great therapy when you are stressed out.

This funny saying is true in some ways for people who suffer from anxiety sometimes. We don’t spill outward our fear and anger because we don’t want to hurt or upset others. We take it inward and not outward. On a purely temporary point of view, it would seem that the person who spills out their grief and pain on others is better off – but not in the long run. In the long run these people suffer much more, and are usually left without any kind of human support later in life.

The trick to relieving anxiety for most people is to accept it for it’s temporary existance, literally laugh at your fear, ease off the self absorbtion with activity and movement, and stop taking ourselves so seriously. In other words, stop taking ego-based and false selves so seriously.

Have you ever seen some of the pictures of Buddha laughing. This is what the truth is. The truth is fearless and alive. We can laugh at ourselves as a way to disspate the ego which controls our mind processes during stress bouts.

Try chuckling and laughing at all things you’ve been worried about or sad about. I know how hard it is to that when you are in the middle of a stressful time, but it can help a little – if not briefly.

Rest assured that your anxiety will be gone soon, and always has in the past. It is NOT a permanent thing. With or without medication, you will get through the stressful times, and realize how silly your little ego is to so afraid.

So to update my current situation as I write this post. I still feel like I’m in the anxiety cloud and writing about anxiety is probably not the best thing to do at the moment, but honestly, and look at all times of anxiety as a chance to learn. Even as I have been in the full anxiety mode today, I deep down inside feel like there is hope, bright blue sky days, happy happy times, beautiful sunsets and sunrises, smiling faces, and stress free days, weeks, months, and years ahead of me.

This is the true mystery of the human mind – even when our egos are taking everything so seriously, and is making our days miserable, we can still feel that somewhat distant voice of reality that is never gone. It’s quietly speaking the truth about the beauty of life, and when the clouds of anxiety pass by, the blue sky of peace and tranquility will be waiting for us. Just writing this makes me feel better.

This is the first time that I’ve ever written a post while under extreme stress so it’s interesting. I’m not sure how long I will continue writing, but the words seem to keep coming out.

My wife is almost ready now to go out, and we putting our dogs (two Golden Retrievers) in our little GMC truck, and going to the dump (landfill) to get rid of some dirt and branches we cleared away a couple of weeks ago. It’s a perfectly blue sky day today, and you would have to wonder why I would feel anxious at all. I have a big house in an upscale neighborhood, a perfect job for me (which is blogging from home) and pays very well, our kids are both out of the house and doing very well. It’s late August and it’s warm and perfect. Our financial house is in order and we are in good health. We travel all the time because our job’s allow for this kind of freedom. We do that in a brand new motor home we bought last year. So how could I possibly feel anxiety? Good question. I don’t quite know either, but I have a guess.

It means so much to me that other people are doing OK in the world, and I can easily get very wrapped up in the “state of the world”. I also get very wrapped in United States politics, and the last 9 years has been difficult to watch. Seeing all of the problems Americans are going through has caused me alot of stress – basically I have caused myself allot of stress because I have chosen to let me ego take control and lament about the plight of others. It’s hard for me to see the suffering of others and write if off as part of the divine order of life on earth.

I know that there are other countries and other peoples who are suffering much more than Americans, but I have always felt that if American can get it’s act together, there is a chance for the rest of world. It’s like the flight attendant that tells parents to make sure they have their oxygen mask on first before helping their children. I use this as a metaphor for the United States and the world. If the U.S.A can get it together, they can help with influence in the rest of the world. Not with leathal weapons, but with compassion, leadership, and diplomacy. It’s a dream – a good dream, but for my own stress levels I have to accept that there is tragedy in the world, and that I will not see what I perceive to be a perfect world. This is the naive state that my adult mind still plays with sometimes.

This is how over-sized my own ego is. It will actually try and convince me that I should feel guilt for the suffering of others, because I have been so lucky. This is why I started Saneadvice.com, and why I don’t use my real name, and why there is no advertising on this site. I needed to create a web site that helps people through their anxiety issues, without me gaining from it, and without me taking credit for it.

(I have other web sites that are not about self-help and anxiety, and they are purely for making money. This is why my wife and I free and make a good living)

I think the reason I am so anxious today is because it is tax time, it’s the month end, and I’v been feeling tired and a little ill. I have been watching too much news as the United States Congress, Senate, and Whitehouse grapple with trying to fix their nation’s healthcare problem. I see some extreme so-called right-wing people trying to scare people for the sake of large profit hungry insurance companies, and medical services related companies. I see the elected politicians in the U.S. government taking contributions from these same private companies which is the ultimate in conflict of interest. Meanwhile I see over 35 million people in the United States who don’t have health care at all, and hundreds of thousand of others losing the health care they have. I see the great injustice of all this, and I get very angry. This is pure ego, and I’ll feel better when I just let it go. I can pray for these people. I can pray for the United States and World, and really that is the best I can do.

So this too maybe what has brought on this anxiety. Like I have said before, it’s usually a combination of things adding up over time which bring on anxiety problems, and it alway means I have been processing what I see the wrong way. In order to see the reality of life I can’t be constantly telling myself how messed up the world is, or people are. I have to stop judging so many things as bad, or “not right”, and I have to give up control all together. Just let things be as they are and accept it. Then I have to learn once again what is the truth.

The truth is that I don’t have to take myself so seriously, and I’m NOT going to “save the world”, and I’m not heading for a personal disaster. As all people who have experienced extreme anxiety know – our common sense feels like it’s impossible to grasp when we are “out there” consumed with fear.

I must say that now I feel much better because of what just happened in our living room. My wife’s computer was not working for her, and it was something very simple and I knew it. I got frustrated, and as I was trying to help her (as quickly as possible) I acted angry in my face expressions, and tone of voice. I fixed her monitor problem, and then I apologized for seeming angry, and explained that I was feeling stress.

She responded by saying, “Oh, I thought you were just being an insensitive prick.” I began to laugh out loud and so did she. There is an inside joke here and it goes like this.

I told my wife once that when I’m deeply anxious I get quieter, I eat less, I move by body (more exercise), I stop smoking, and I become more aware of how I am treating others. I told her that when I’m feeling better, I’m less sensitive to others, I over eat, I don’t exercise, I smoke, I don’t worry. She said jokingly,

“So let me get this right – when you are feeling good, you are a fat and lazy insensitive prick” We both started to laugh loudly. This is good comfort to laugh at yourself.

Well we must go to the dump now. This post has helped move things along in my discission on the ego and how serious we can get. We must learn to float and not get “bent out of shape” when things we see and witness don’t go according to our egos.

The answer to my stress today is very simple friends – my little ego is upset because it is not seeing exactly what it wants. When I give up this ego and learn to laugh at my ego, I will start to feel like “myself again”.

Sorry if anyone reading Saneadvice.com ever thought that I had “my shit together” completely, and that I never have extreme anxiety on some days. The reality is that no human ever totally conquers their ego. We can learn to live with our ego though, and we can spend most all our time relaxing in the moment.

Sometimes anxiety just means you need to reset your thinking because you have been thinking wrongly for awhile. Hitting reset button now!

I keep a log of all comments, which may or may not be posted later to help others get over a problem.

You can see the live chat box to the right of the screen.

You will only see Emma or myself on there once and awhile because we don’t sit on the web site all day, but there will certainly be times when we are there to help you if you have any questions.

Jacob

If you are suffering from panic attacks, please read this article on how to stop panic attacks all together.

Question submitted by: Kenneth.
Advice given by: Jacob Markusson

Q: I went to the hospital in the middle of the night with my wife at my side. I had a rapid heart beat, and pains in my chest. We were both frightened to death. When the doctor asked me all of my symptoms he told me I was probably just having an anxiety attack.

They checked my heart and my blood pressure, gave me a few pills, and sent me home. This led to some research on the Internet, and I think I may have an anxiety disorder. I’m scared and I sometimes I think I’m dying. Can you help me.

A: First thing I want to assure you is that you’re not dying. If you do have an anxiety disorder, you are likely to imagine that you are dying. Try not worry about these kinds of “scary thoughts”. You may be surprised to hear that people who suffer with some form of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), can actually be lucky in the long run. You may find that hard to believe right now, so take it with a grain of salt and read on.

The good news is that you are taking action by seeking professional help from medical practitioners. Anxiety disorders are more prevalent now than ever before. You are not alone. I need to stress this. You are not alone. As soon as possible, book an appointment with a doctor, and tell him (or her) EVERY little detail as far as your symptoms go. Don’t leave out anything.

Your doctor will shed some light on your condition, but don’t just take one doctor’s opinion in this matter. He or she may diagnose your anxiety disorder right out of the gate, and guide you back to health quickly, but they may have very little experience dealing with a serious anxiety disorder. They might just throw some the drugs at you. That may be what you need, but you want to find out how severe your anxiety is. Find a good anxiety disorder specialist/therapist who can help you find out what level you are at.

Different Levels of an Anxiety Disorder

There are many different levels of anxiety. Below is a short list of different symptoms that are common to anxiety sufferers. Depending on your level of symptoms, you should be able to see yourself in the examples below.

Anxiety Symptoms - Level One (thought processing)

At the early stages of a growing anxiety disorder, it’s very common to have a strange feeling of listlessness, or lack of excitement for life in general. Activites that used to give you pleasure may no longer do so. You can have feeling of pulling away from others, yet they don’t think you are. You may find your temper is shorter, and you have very little patience for others in your workplace or home. A sufferer at the early stages of an anxiety disorder often see the world through what I call, “a dirty lens”. If a person could recognize this kind of thought processing, it would be possible for them to “snap out of it”, and avoid ever experiencing the higher level anxiety symptoms, including full blown panic attacks.

Anxiety Symptoms - Level Two (physical symptoms)

After a time period in which an anxiety sufferer is experiencing thoughts similar to the description above, they will often begin to notice some physical symptoms. They will likely experience the symptoms below one or two at a time, but only intermittently (in short spurts or every day or two)

Below I list some of these (what I call level two physical symptoms of a growing anxiety problem). All cases are different, but this list of symptoms covers the most common experience.

• lack of appetite
• lack of sleep
• feeling of dread or impending death
• discomfort around groups of people
• a possible tingling sensation in the arms or legs
• IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) constant diarrhea
• extremely frequent urination
• feeling like you’re losing your mind
• scary thoughts (worried you may hurt someone) e.g. – afraid of knives because you imagine hurting or killing someone. Don’t worry….you won’t!
• constant worrying about the worst possible outcomes in your life and others
• early stages of agoraphobia and/or depression
• self medicating with alcohol and/or legal and illegal drugs
• rapid heart beat
• nervous sweating
• cramps in the stomach and abdomen area
• dizziness
• a feeling of being outside your own body (detachment)
• fear of almost anything under the sun, and this includes the sun
• thoughts of suicide

There are many other symptoms not listed here, so don’t be alarmed if you have other symptoms not in this list. You are not a special case. Don’t ask yourself, “why me”. Ask yourself, “when and where can I go to doctor or therapist as soon as possible”.

These are just some common symptoms in what I call “stage two” of a growing anxiety disorder. You may suffer from some of these, or perhaps all of these symptoms. If you are suffering from half of these symptoms, I want you to read this following sentence 5 times in a row, and breath as slowly as possible as you read this paragraph. You may think that relief from this hell on earth is impossible, but help is on it’s way.

Read now: I am experiencing a common “dis-ease” which is easily treatable, and I will seek professional help as soon as possible. I am not alone. Millions of people have experienced this same problem, and 99.9% of them recovered fully. I will trust the health professionals and make an appointment with an anxiety specialist tomorrow. I want to feel good.

Notice how I stress seeking help twice in that paragraph. You may be at a stage where you can’t even visualize feeling good again, but TRUST me, you will.

Anxiety Symptoms - Level Three (full blown panic attacks)

If you don’t seek professional medical help after experiencing the symptoms above, you may graduateto the third level of an acute anxiety disorder. Sufferers will experience all of the symptoms above on a more extreme level.

You may go for 2-3 days without ANY sleep. You may urinate constantly, and you may be in depression mode as well. Agoraphobia may be in full effect, and you avoid almost any activity, such as staying in bed period.

You may start having full blow panic attacks frequently until you only have a brief time between each anxiety attack. You can literally feel like you are falling into a black hole, in which you will never return from. This is the ugliest level of suffering, and some sufferers may consider suicide frequently. If this sound like where you are at, you need to read this paragraph below as well.

I am not alone. I am am much stronger than I think, and I am fully equipped to pull out of this. My body and mind are much stronger than I realize and I will seek professional help today. If I am reading this in the evening, I will go to a walk-in clinic tomorrow morning as soon as it opens and get help from a doctor. I will take the medication they prescribe, and I will not fear taking the medication. It won’t hurt me. I need to take action against this illness.

If you are in the third stage, I want to tell you something very important. It’s common to have a lot of “scary thoughts” in this stage. Yo may have extremely frightening thoughts of killing yourself or others, but DO NOT BELIEVE IT. This is VERY common and you are NOT going crazy. People suffering from this third stage anxiety rarely hurt ANYONE.

These scary thoughts you may be having are just a little survival trick your brain is playing with. Your brain will invent these extreme scary thoughts to replace the endless bombardment of worries you are harboring. Believe it or not, this is your mind trying to give you a break from REAL concerns that you can’t seem to deal with on your own.

This why you may be having feelings of detachment – like you are watching what is going on around you, but not in your own body. This sort of numb and fuzzy experience is ALSO a coping mechanism your brain has. Your brain is trying to give you a forced “time out” from your constant self obsession and worrying.

So please take some comfort in these words. You are going to be alright. You are going to feel good again. You are not experiencing anything abnormal. Millions of others have dealt with the exact same problem.

Do not be worried about your mind at this stage (I know you will, but take some comfort in these words as well. Your mind will not “snap”, and you will not be living in a rubber room. you are not going crazy. Your mind can handle this. You will get better and feel good again.

Do not be worried about your body at this horrible stage either. Your bowels, your stomach, your heart, your lungs, your muscles, your blood, your nervous system, are built to handle these symptoms. Don’t let any writings of doom and gloom add to your anxiety. Unless the writer has experienced an acute anxiety disorder (I have my whole life) they will not fully understand the reality of what you are going through, and they may seem way to calm as you try to explain that you are dying. By the way…..you are NOT dying. You have many year to go my friend, and there is help for you sooner than you think.

You may have lost weight to a really low appetite and a need to keep moving. If you have been suffering in the 2nd and 3rd stages of an acute anxiety disorder for an extended period of time, you may have lost between 10-50 pounds. Don’t worry about this either. You will get back on track and your appetite will come back. You may not believe me, depending on the stage you are at, but I assure you – you will recover from this.

Treatment, and Recovery from an Extreme Anxiety Disorder

Depending on the stage you are at, there is a few ways to approach your recovery. Some much better than the other.

Treatment One: If you are still in the early stage of an anxiety disorder you may be able to swing out of your funkby talking with others, making some changes in your life, educating yourself about stress (reading some good books), practising breathing exercises, etc. etc. You would be very wise to start some sessions with an anxiety therapist to help you even more. You may not need to take any medication, but it’s NOT a big deal if you do. Don’t let the ignorance of the general public con you into believing that the use of medication is a bad thing. It’s not.

Treatment Two: If you are in the 2nd and 3rd stages of an acute anxiety disorder, my advice is to get yourself to a good doctor and a good anxiety therapist ASAP. Do not refuse the medication they give you. It will not hurt you! When you hear stories in the media of people “flipping out”, and they were on a particular medication, take it with a grain fo salt. In most case when you hear about some extreme case where a person “wigged out and lost it”, it’s because they STOPPED taking the medication they needed. Usually they stopped taking their medication the wrong way, which is cold turkey. Listen to your doctors an follow the pharmacist’s instructions exactly. Ask lots of questions and educate yourself.

The first time I started taking anti-anxiety medication I read all the side effects on the bottle, and enclosed documentation, and it frightened me deeply. I thought I was experiencing ALL of the side effects, when this was just my anxiety ridden imagination causing more physical and emotional stress. I actually stopped taking the medication before it had a chance to work.

The next time I tried finally listening to the doctors I stayed with the medication and tried to have more faith in the therapist’s and doctor’s words. Within three weeks I started to pull out of the ugly third level stage I was in. I begin sleeping again, my apetitie kicked back in again, and I was slowly on my way to full recover. So don’t fear the medication.  Anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication is MUCH better now. The world is long past the pill bombs such as Prozac. Paxil (which is considered old now too) , and Effexor are extremely effective if taken as prescribed. There are even BETTER meds being developed now.

Avoiding Alcohol and Mind Altering Drugs While Using Anti-Anxiety Meds

This is a VERY important discussion. I’ve witnesses friends and family start their anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication and it did not really help them. There are two reasons for this.

One: They kept using mind altering drugs such as alcohol, and/or illegal and legal drugs, while they were using their meds. My advice is to STOP using any of these self-medication techniques. It will hamper the recovery from your anxiety disorder greatly.  If you are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs (D&D – drinking and drugging), get yourself to an AA or NA meeting as soon as possible. You must deal with your addicitions if you want to recovery fully from an anxiety disorder. This will be very difficult, but you can do it. Say these words; “I want to feel good, and I am ready to make big changes in my life to do so”. You can DO it friend. Seek help. There is a virtual army of people with a similar background who will help you.

Two: Their symptoms were not really that extreme in the first place, and they were (or are) simply in the early stages of an anxiety disorder. Do you see the pattern here? If you have mild, and early symptoms of an anxiety disorder, you may NOT need medication. See a doctor and therapist as soon as physically possible so you can get professional help. Find a friend or family member that you can trust and talk, talk, talk. Just opening up about your suffering is a great start on the way to a full recovery.

If you are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, it’s imperative to address this, be honest with yourself, and get serious about feeling good again. If you still have it in you to continue ”self
medicating”, you have likely never experienced the hell of the 3rd stage of an acute anxiety disorder. Don’t continue on with such a destructive lifestyle. STOP seeing the people you are drinking or drugging with right away. You need to take back control of your life, and make some big changes. Try not to be afraid of losing your friends. You don’t need or want addicted friends. You will never be alone. Repeat…..you will never be alone.  You can perhaps start here with NA or AA.

If you see yourself anywhere in this article, I hope you seek out professional counselling and medical advice. I hope this article shed some light on what you, or a loved one, is going through. Anxiety disorders are VERY treatable now, and remind yourself this condition will be temporary.

If you believe in a higher power, remember that you will never be alone in this universe, this world, or this eternity. Don’t fear the changes you will have to make in your life. The circumstances of your lifestyle and/or your family history are likely what set you up for this anxiety disorder you may be fighting.

You can adapt, and you can recover fully. You are MUCH stronger than you realize. You are born of light and love, and you are a miracle of beauty. Keep learning.

Jacob Markusson

P.S. – I’ve just touched on anxiety disorders in this article. I will be covering aspects of anxiety in other Q&As.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsQJyKhmqkQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbj4nLOPN8o