I’ve always believed in quiet time. You can meditate if you want. Listen to motivational material and learn how to speak in tongues. Whatever calms you down and helps you make a connection to universal energy.
Honestly though, I think just sitting still in a dead silent place all alone for 20-30 minutes works just as well. You don’t have to chant anything or do anything. Even better, do absolutely nothing. I’ve done this for years now, and it works very well to calm you down. No speaking, singing, listening to music – nothing. Just sit silently and let your mind clear.
Simple Quiet Time
This relaxation technique has also been coined “focused solitude” on some blogs and in some books. Whatever you call it, it works. It will take some practice on your part because you will be surprised how weird it feels to sit there by yourself in absolute silence and stillness.
If you practice this relaxation technique long enough you will find it to be an indispensable part of your daily routine. They have said (they being many writers, poets, and the like) that the only true language of God is silence.
So if you want to make your days less stressful, and find that good place in your mind, try giving yourself a time out once a day. Take some quiet time. Unwind.
Progressive Relaxation
Progressive relaxation is a very old relaxation method whereby you tense particular muscles in your body and in a specific order. Usually you start at your toes. You tense the muscles in your toes momentarily and then release. Then you move up to your feet and do the same thing. You continue until you have tensed all the muscles in your body.
I’ve never really had much success with this relaxation method, and prefer just sitting quietly as in the first technique mentioned above. However, if you want to try the progressive relaxation technique properly you can see a good breakdown of the pattern to follow on this site.
Learning to live with social anxiety is usually not that difficult, but some sufferers are prone to extreme levels of stress when in a public situation or when they’re amongst large groups of people. This can even result in a patient developing severe agoraphobia. You don’t want to go there. It can lead to depression, and/or an anxiety disorder, and if you are reading this you know how much of a bummer that can be.
I’ve read where people who suffer from social anxiety take singing, dancing, or acting lessons. That’s a sure way to learn how to deal with your fear of being around people! Even for the most confident people, being on stage can stress them out to the point of experiencing nausea, diarrhea, dry mouth, and cold sweats. All basic symptoms of stress. It was enough to make me pack in my guitar and quit the band.
Using Medication (legal or illegal drugs)
As mentioned above, I played in bands when I was a young man (15-27), and had a chance to watch how people deal with social anxiety and/or stage fright. As you can likely guess, there was a whole lot of self-medicating going on. This is the WRONG way to go about combating social anxiety (don’t go there, and if you are there…..try and find a better way to deal with your stress) . I have too many horror stories to list all of them here on this page.
There are professional performers who use drugs such as Ativan to give them courage enough to relax while they perform. Controlled substances like these, along with a good doctor and your common sense, can help. You still have to be very careful you don’t start popping Ativan pills like smarties though. Highly addictive if you abuse this drug.
Some people who are not performers, speakers, or the like, have trouble going anywhere that is a public place, including the mall, the movies, the park, sporting events, concerts, etc.
These folks can often be afraid to go to work. Afraid to go to their kid’s Christmas concert. Afraid to go to the grocery store. This is when it’s getting fairly serious and a trip to the doctor is now required. If you are at that stage, don’t worry about it – it’s all treatable, and of course you are not alone. There is usually something behind all your social anxiety, and there are many good treatments for this problem (with or without medication)
Avoid Avoidance
What you don’t want to do is use the avoidance method for keeping your stress levels down, I had a case of agoraphobia at one of the most anxious periods of my life. For about two months I was petrified to go outside, take a walk, or go to any public place. It was very scary to say the least. Eventually with time, medication, and healthy action on my part, I was able to pull out of it all together.
If you are simply avoiding public places all together, and have trouble leaving your home, it’s time to get yourself to a doctor or therapist. Social anxiety is very treatable and in 99% of cases patients have a full recovery.
Get out in public with a close friend or relative by your side. Someone who you can talk to and confide in. If you don’t have that option, consider taking short walks in the evening when the streets are quiet. Work your way up to a public place during the day time.
Libraries are a PERFECT place to start because they’re quiet and controlled environments where people have their noses in a book. You are still in a public place, but it’s a calm and quiet place to be. I love libraries for this reason.
Stress management humorists are invaluable in today’s fast and furious world. Learning to laugh at your anxiety and stress is one of the best ways to handle the day to day peaks and valleys of life. Continue Reading »
Below is a graph showing the stages of anxiety, including the “feeling good mode”, the anxiety cloud stage, the panic attack stage, and the POEM system. (point of exit methodology)
Graph line(s) Key below:
Orange: Anxiety cloud level between a normal relaxed state and a panic attack
Green: Normal relaxed stress levels – no fear, panic, or anxiety at all – feeling good
Red: Panic attack state, extreme fear and panic for 5-10 minutes
Blue: Point Of Exit – Your chance to break the panic disorder/attack cycle Continue Reading »
I’ve created this video to explain a little further my Poem System (point of exit methodology). If you practice this panic attack system, you can break the cycle of fear regarding a possible panic attack.
The point of exit methodology is a thought process that I’ve been perfecting for over twenty years now. The point of exit in the context of the following methodology is the point in which you finish a full blown anxiety attack. Click here to see graph – Click here for video explanation
What Is The Poem System
In a nutshell, the point of exit methodology (or POEM system) is a thought process that deflates the extreme nature of a anxiety sufferers emotional state. When exercising the poem system the panic sufferer learns to not fear a possible panic attack. As the sufferer masters the poem system they can effectively eradicate their fear of panic attacks, and henceforth stop having panic attacks.
How To Practice The Poem System
When you are in a high enough state of anxiety that you are entering into the anxiety cloud state, and fearful of a panic attack, you can avoid the attack by focusing on the end (or point of exit) of the attack.
The anxiety sufferer focuses only at the end of the panic episode and practices disregarding the the actual panic attack. They focus on how they are going to reward themselves when the panic attack is over. I suggest using a walk as the reward. Look at a walk in the fresh air as a fantastic reward. It’s exercise and it’s small celebration of life.
Another reason a walk is recommended is because you can usually achieve that. Outdoors is preferred, but indoors can work to on a treadmill or simply walking up and down stairs. Any kind of exercise can be good, but a walk outdoors is preferred. Rain or shine. However, the reward can be anything you enjoy.
When you are highly stressed, and you begin fearing a panic attack, tell yourself that the panic attack would be “no big deal”, and that if it happens you will reward yourself when it’s over. No matter what your imagination tells you during your time of panic, remember that facts – you are not alone, the panic attack won’t hurt you, and focus only on your reward that is coming.
It’s key that you let the panic attack come and don’t try to fight it. Practice telling yourself that “a panic attack is no big deal”, and if you have the panic attack, really focus on telling yourself that it was “not a big deal”.
Carry out rewarding yourself, and make sure you launch into some kind of activity that has you moving. Walking, running, or working with your hands…..anything – but get yourself moving. If you are OK to drive, then go for a drive. Take a bus ride. Just get moving.
Practicing Point of Exit
When you practice the point of exit methodology, you must focus all your thought at the moment you feel your panic attack subsiding. Right when the cold sweats appear, or after you have cried, etc. At that point of release you are entering your point of exit. You must get some physical activity at this point. Tell yourself how it was no big deal, and how much you are going to enjoy your reward.
If you have multiple panic attacks in a day, you can’t sleep, and you are extremely frightened all the time, the POEM system will help you, and it might even pull you completely out of your anxious state. It might not if you don’t practice diligently. You may need to see a doctor and get a prescription to get your anxiety and depression under control.
Don’t ever forget – you are not alone. You are not a victim. You are a perfect creation of universal energy and universal intelligence. Your anxiety is actually a gift in disguise my friend. You will certainly appreciate the moments of your life when you are not anxious and afraid. You will very likely be enlightened when your journey to recovery is over. At the very least, you will be able to help other people who suffer from the same problem.
In my long effort to finally find a lasting relief I ended up using a low dosage of Paxil. It’s been a wild ride, and some days I still have panic attacks, but I rebound from them much faster now because I have educated myself.
In the end….it’s no big deal. In the end (which will be soon) you will recover from your anxiety and/or depression.
The term anxiety cloud is a term I’ve always used to describe a state of anxiety whereby the sufferer is not in a panic or anxiety attack, but is between anxiety attacks, or close to an anxiety attack.
Often sufferers of extreme stress describe an out-of-body feeling, or a foggy feeling. They sometimes say they feel like they are walking around in a fog all day. There of course many other symptoms, but this stage is very frightening. The sufferer feels like they are on the verge of being under control, and often they end up in a full blown panic attack.
During my life dealing with panic attacks, and the resulting depression from out of control anxiety, I have discovered my own methodology for recovering from anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and depression. I’ve taken every possible anti-anxiety program available that is in the English language.
I’ve seen many different doctors, emergency rooms, psychiatrists, and stress therapists. In the end I discovered many of my own techniques and some of these may be helpful to you as well. This is the reason for the creation of this web site.
When you see me use the term anxiety cloud, you’ll know what I mean. My goal is to help you learn how to see the anxiety cloud coming and then learn how to literally steer yourself away from it. I also want to teach you how to handle the turbulence if you can’t manage to avoid an anxiety storm (panic attack)
